Sick ohhh

So said the Myspace blog (lol, remember those?) entry of somebody I really ought to have made more of an effort to prang once. Anyway on Saturday I thought I’d made ‘decent’ progress on the Sentinel and The Small Press Digest, and was planning to spend Sunday tapping out reviews / angry Sun-style articles to fill the pages of them. Instead I woke up on Sunday with a badly running nose and the feeling that a load of red-hot iron filings had settled on the bottom of my sinuses, wonderful.


pictured: scientific accuracy

(Drawing that actually made the pain worse >.< I ought to draw something nice). So anyway I spent the whole day looking at instead of drawing or writing. And after a sleepless night I phoned in sick to work today and did more of the same, though feeling slightly better. Ought to manage to go tomorrow. Total number of sick days used in 3 years of working there: 2!

I did go and collect lots and lots of extra-strong Lockets from Tesco though (Tunes are shit these days, the “real fruit juice” they have been “improved” with just gives them a horrendous aftertaste). Of course my dad, with his usual slug-like sub-telligence, couldn’t fathom the idea that a sleepless night of illness might not put me in the mood for doing a load of shopping. So of course he had to drone out “Cayn Yew Gäeeeeeet……” as slowly as possible while the one remaining locket in my mouth (to avoid a running nose while I’m driving) rapidly vanished.

My brother also moved out of the house yesterday, ahh peace and quiet. No longer will I have to suffer his “sense of humour”. Which amounts to loudly repeating a lolarious line from some podcast he’s listened to, out of context, for a fucking month.


1 – Killed self in a car accident while drink driving

2 – Locked up for molesting children

3 – whatever – Dunno, but with that sort of start I doubt they did much good. Kids of today: Don’t be an arsehole at school, it’ll only get worse!

Actually come to think of it my whole school year was a bit shitty. They were oh-so “mature”. When we were 11 – 12 we went to this Anglo-Saxon hill fort and I bought a toy axe in the gift shop, cue a years worth of bullying. The year after me all bought toy swords and were having mock battles on the bus.

Still the whole school in general had no sense of humour. An Irish bloke at my work was talking about how on one of the leaving days at his school the whole year all sat in thier classes quietly and patiently and played no pranks, which left the teachers baffled. Then they found out that six of the kids were missing, they had released some extremely well-fed pigeons into the open-plan upstairs! You could never have organised a whole year-wide prank like that at my school. The good/mental kids would have blabbed it to the teachers in five minutes flat and the bullies would just have laughed at the idea that somebody is trying to organise a big prank rather than loads of little ones.

Then again it wasn’t entirely confined to my year. The teachers had a crackdown on people standing up on the bus once. Oh how I dreamed of having the whole top deck of our bus stand up as one just as it went around the corner exiting the school. Of course If I’d had this idea, turned around to the people sitting behind me and told them to pass it on backwards through the bus they would probably have just looked at me like I’d shat on their shoes.

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