On the eve of moving to Japan…

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What a time to get into American comics, eh? Not the modern shit, of course – 40’s – 50’s EC and 50’s – 70’s Marvel! There was a bad crash on the road where I worked, and I was compelled to sit in a nearby car park for most of the day, with only the first 20-odd Fantastic Four issues for company, what a rush!

And the old EC material is astonishingly good. Dare I say it predated Japan’s Gekiga / Seinen as the first really “adult” comic storytelling (ignoring Tijuana Bibles and story papers, for a moment XD)? If there had never been a “code”, the US might have a comic market as big and diverse as Japan’s or France’s by now. And I dare say other countries would have followed the yank’s lead (the other country does in everything else). The code did more damage to comics as a whole than anybody really realises.

The Belgium attacks

Shortly after the Paris attacks last year, everybody on Facebook is changing thier profile pictures to French flags, when these virals start going around about atrocities that happened in other countries at the same time.

The same thing is happening in the wake of the Belgian attacks, but the virals are conspicuously absent. I really doubt the rest of the world was atrocity-free, that day, so why the lack of messages insisting we don’t just comemmorate the western victims?

It wouldn’t be anything to do with a certain magazine, which continues to be unrepentantly published in France, would it?

 

Oh, and, after the inevitable British attack, how many hours will it be before the Guardian article claiming we need a new flag, and not “this aggressive, jagged explosion”? 6 is not a low guess.

 

Will posting from my phone work?

Even if I include smilies? 😘🍵🔺🏠👃👎🐦😲🏩🍆🐢🗾🎌

 

Well, anyway. Last night I had a dream that involved a trip to “France”. But every single street looked like the Arc Du Triomphe / Central Bucharest / George Terrace in Bath / The Vatican / St Petersberg… so it was clearly supposed to be Homonia, the gay homeland from my comics. Anyway, me and some friends were getting in a car, when this lawyer type gets in, and asks if any of us have this old Nintendo console, which supposedly came out in between the Gamecube and Wii, and was a huge flop.

The driver (with light brown skin, long, dark brown hair and black eyes – very hot) said he did, and the lawyer type said he was responsible for pirating it, and would have him arrested. But then we drove around for ages and nothing happened.

Then we all realised that having the guy who wants to escape driving wasn’t the best idea, and I reached over and grabbed the wheel, while my friend Kate reached her feet over to work the pedals (the car was like the first Renault Grande Scenic, only with a 3×3 seating plan, and a different, and more sensible, dashboard).

Anyway, we tried to erratically drive somewhere, but the guy jumped out and ran into one of the many giant buildings (covered with many marble neoclassical details). A huge fight started in the lobby, and he somehow locked most of the others in a small room. It was left to me and the lawyer type to just hang on, and wait for him to tire himself out XD.

Oh, also, the dream only occupied about 5 minutes of sleep!

Dreamed I met Brianna Wu o_O

Well, I mean, of course I’m a gater. But I’m in it for the battle against censorship, leftist revisionism and cultural marxism in general. I don’t really give a crap about specific “enemies”, especially if all they have done is make a naff game or two and complain about us on the telly. But still, there she was. (Yeah, she, guess I’m too far gone, eh?)

Anyway, I’ve only seen like 2 pics of her, so she was short, had glasses, and was kinda cute. She was visiting my job, and we had some awkward conversation, trying not to mention our positions on “gate”. Later I was having lunch, in a circle of people (the building I have lunch in has now “changed hands”, and we don’t really all eat together any more. I finally have a desk, so I draw at break times), and somebody else was vaguely insulting her in rhyme. He also sounded like a bully from my secondary school. It was putting me off reading a lurid 60’s paperback, so I sarcastically asked him if he was “flyting”, and felt rather put out that he actually knew what that was. Meanwhile Brianna just vanished entirely o_O.

I’m done with Doctor Who.

Because what the FUCK is this SHIT?

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I was also interested, on my other blog, to note that India will apparently be more monoracial in 300 years time. Imagine if they showed a similar scene in the Britain of 2314, with all white characters?

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And what’s this in the next issue? “The Weeping Angels of Mons”. Note they are going to end up in “the trenches”. The trenches, as in those things that hadn’t been dug at the time of the retreat from Mons?

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Never mind, eh? No doubt the whole point of the story is to say “the right things” about class war (class war from the perspective of yanks, anyway. Or maybe Brits who wish they were yanks, which is even worse). You can see the heartless generals ordering working class men into No-man’s Land at gunpoint already, can’t you? Never mind that they were actually being led into battle by junior officers, most from exactly the same educated, privileged background as those generals, and an order of maginitude more likely to be killed. As they were supposed to be “leading by example”, and snipers always went for officers. To say nothing of the fact that several of those junior officers, leading their men to doom, may have been the nephews or sons of the generals planning the attack… or even that 22 generals themselves died in pointless charges, over the course of the war (no doubt trying to prove that their amazing “run towards the enemy’s machine guns” tactics will work, this time).

Still, we all know what “amazing, shocking revelation” is coming up on the TV show. I suspect a lot of people are planning to bail, at that point. I might as well just git while the gittin’s gud. It’s made for San Francisco hipsters, now, anyway. It’s no longer for the likes of us. The £40-a-year-licence, stripped-to-bare-bones BBC can’t come soon enough, if you ask me.

EDIT: I had a peek at the next issue in the shop. Yeah, tin helmets and trenches before Archduke Ferdinand’s body was even cold. Top research, there.

Might as well use this blog for dream recording.

I did want to do a massive post about Jeremy Clarkson and cultural marxism (even back in April, I would have called anybody who used that phrase a tinfoil hatter. But I’ve been comprehensively “woken up” since then), but could never be arsed to write it. So here’s a copy and pasted post from Facebook.

Oh yeah, the other night I had this bonkers dream, where a colour-changing dragon attacked “London” (it looked more like Osaka, crossed with Prague, crossed with that town in Poland/Ukraine where the BBC team were based in the European cup). Fortunately, this was in the combined Marvel, DC and MGM universes, so they had a load of heroes to fight it (actually, I think one of the My Little Pony’s was in it too). They all had to get some item roughly corresponding to their outfit colour, and I was James Bond (in a white suit), so had to get some white item. Many of the items were just chocolate bars XD. Anyway, having been given my orders directly by Tony Blair in Parliament (which is not exactly secret), I set off to find a milky bar, or whatever, but ended up creeping around some dark room.

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year

I wanted to get some “big” entries done over the holidays, after I’d finished doing the last few incidental illustrations for issue 4 of my comic, and printed it, of course.

Except, I go back to work tomorrow and have not yet put physical pencil to physical paper. The cover date on the comic, when it eventually gets finished (hopefully before my birthday, at the end of June), is getting a little silly, too:

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Anyway, that’s enough about that. More important is this CD that I got at the end of October:

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What’s better than a double-disc compilation album of 50’s Rockabilly? One that’s ALL CAR SONGS

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Well okay, there’s a few bike songs, too. Available from Fopp’s bargain section now!

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The Story of the Whos

Note: all pictures in this post are the copyright of “Peter Green”, creator of The Story of the Whos.

(Though I’ll be doing some fanart of my own before long)

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A while ago, I was on 4chan, wasting time, when I found a cringe thread. That thread contained a link to a video called “The Story of the Whos”, with MS Paint artwork. I was expecting it to be a hilariously-inaccurate “history of Doctor Who”, created by a teen girl who discovered the show during the Tennant Era. But actually it was something cool – a guy who has come up with a huge, epic story about a race of “tiny” people (or, human-sized people who live on a planet many thousands of times larger than Earth, but still with an earth-like climate and gravity) called the Whos (after Horton Hears a Who, an old children’s book) who are fighting the Lice, a race of heartless, cloned soldiers who live for destruction.

Anyway, the guy first came up with the story in elementary (primary) school, and acted out battles with things like sticks, paperclips and tiny bits of paper representing tanks, fighters and giant flying “ships”, which are heavily armoured and not plane-shaped. He’s kept the story going ever since, drawing inspiration from places he’s visited in real life. There’s a bit of time-dilation, though. Two years of middle school became a 20-year battle, while winters spent at home passed in “real time”.

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As I said, the planet this is set on is like Earth, but thousands of times bigger. To the Whos and Lice, though, the gravity, weather etc are the same. This would be against the laws of physics in real life (it’s unlikely you’d get a rocky planet that large, to start with…), but it makes for a cool environment to set the story in. My money’s on it being an incredibly ancient Dyson Sphere, which was built, then deserted, millions upon millions of years ago. Icy and rocky meteorites bombarded the outside, creating vast mountains, forests, oceans and an atmosphere (this is also “to scale”, there’s giant aerial observation platforms at altitudes that would put them well into space, if they were over Earth). The “sun” and “moon” of this planet could actually distant globular clouds of thousands of stars, which provide different amounts of light, and somehow ‘rise’ and ‘set’ over 24 hours. Of course, the size and physics of the world are up to the actual writer, “Peter Green” (may not be his actual name, he might have named his youtube channel after the main character of the story!), to explain. Also, apparently the constellations in this planet’s sky are the same as those over Earth. Well, they have the same names, anyway.

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The story itself is an epic – and is still “growing”, through the guy’s life. The first major part is about Peter and Emily Green, who live in an idyllic valley – but they think something is being hidden from them. It turns out that the war against the Lice has been going on for thousands of years, but because the planet is so big, some colonies of Whos (these “colonies” having the populations and territory of entire countries on Earth) can live for generations without even knowing about it. Anyway, Peter and Emily soon find out what is being hidden from them when Louse invasion ships show up and start killing everybody. The valley they live in, which is probably the size of Ireland, but landlocked, walled-off and with a government that forbids all knowledge of the outside world, is rapidly overwhelmed, but the government have been hiding a series of well-stocked, huge aircraft in which a few lucky members of the population escape. The one Peter and Emily are on board (they fall in love during the journey, too) eventually gets shot down, the survivors starting up a hidden village in a forest.

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The next part of the story (and the one which was ‘written’ first) is about a battle against a gigantic super-fortress called Woebarren, based on the writer’s elementary school. The villagers need medicine, so a small raiding party go back to the ship, but it is now louse-infested. They already know about the huge fortress (it is the size of a bloody mountain range!), but are kind of hoping they will be ignored. Peter and Emily are both shot, but are rescued by other Whos, who live in a giant, well-armed city-state. The people of this state knew about the village, and want to extract all the villagers, because it’s between them and Woebarren, and they are planning a major attack with artillery, armour and even nukes. The villagers are all bought to the city-state and join it’s army.

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After a number of battles, Woebarren gets infiltrated and blown up with strategically-placed nukes. A huge louse fleet attacks the Who fleet, as they flee in big air-cruisers. Peter and Emily’s ship limps away, to crash-land near an even bigger fortress called Macalavay. Other nations of Whos live nearby, and they are eventually united into an army which blows up Macalavay, too (this battle takes “20 years”). Peter and Emily Green are apparently “chosen ones”, so they live longer, can see a few seconds into the future, and other such things. The writer himself admits that’s a cheesy ripoff of Jedi Knights, but it “explains” how they can survive this brutal war for so long. Anyway, they are killed after the battle for Macalavay, giving the much-depleted Who fleet time to escape. Their children live on, finding a giant tree called Sarengarth (the planet has many of these, some are cities / fortresses, whilst others are ‘natural’, though even these may have a landing platform or outpost built on them).

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Sarengarth is an absolute monarchy, but the kindly king is being poisoned by his son, who is really in charge. Orion Green (now the main character) sorts all that out, becoming king himself, after challenging the heir to single combat. Just in time, too, because the Lice are coming! Sarengarth has a uranium mine underneath, and a powerful deflector shield powered by nuclear reactors, so it can withstand a siege for years and years. Orion also sneaks out on some secret missions (represented by times the writer went on holiday, to other parts of the USA), finding a cloaking suit, some information on the origin of the war, and new girlfriends – he gets through a lot, and they die often. Apparently the Lice have huge sky carriers, able to carry many kilometer-long cruisers at hypersonic speeds. These are represented by real-world airliners, though I’m not sure if he intends them  to be on the same scale as real life (given that a paperclip may represent one of the smaller cruisers!).

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Anyway, eventually the Lice invade the tree, but Orion survives and is taken prisoner. He escapes again, being taken in by a small, remote community. But later on they chuck him out, and he becomes a nomad, among a load of “zombies”, created by a Louse biological weapon. Sarengarth is later re-taken, but bombarded by huge amounts of nuclear weapons, which kills the millions of lice around it. Orion dies too, but has another son who carries on the fight – as do other characters such as Myron, who is also very long-lived (he helped to train Peter Green, back near the start of the story), but not one of the chosen. There’s also some outlined plot elements involving genetic modification to make the Louse biological weapons infect them, rather than Whos, and “good” Lice who have somehow shaken off their racial-hatred brainwashing.

Anyway, that’s more or less where the story is at, now. The guy has written up most of the “peaceful valley” part, as well as other sections (he’s jumping from event to event to avoid writers block), and a big overview document. But for now, I’ll leave you with the links:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jMXNuaDZ068

The main Youtube video

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCRz8-d8EGtcYgd5I3KgIsKQ

The channel

http://thestoryofthewhos.tumblr.com/

The Tumblr. Really slow in my Chrome, for some reason, but quicker in IE (Firefox fucked up so badly it corrupted part of my hard drive and prevents it from being fully defragged. Fuck Firefox.). That’s probably just me, though.

https://www.dropbox.com/sh/s4brxycgtvrjf8l/AACBc1u5GTfurKIk7LinsixWa/Story%20of%20the%20Whos?dl=0

The Dropbox, contains PDF’s of the story, and other bits.

http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/1guwyu/what_were_you_told_you_would_grow_out_of_but/cao4xry

The story’s first “appearance”, in a Reddit thread.