The Belgium attacks

Shortly after the Paris attacks last year, everybody on Facebook is changing thier profile pictures to French flags, when these virals start going around about atrocities that happened in other countries at the same time.

The same thing is happening in the wake of the Belgian attacks, but the virals are conspicuously absent. I really doubt the rest of the world was atrocity-free, that day, so why the lack of messages insisting we don’t just comemmorate the western victims?

It wouldn’t be anything to do with a certain magazine, which continues to be unrepentantly published in France, would it?

 

Oh, and, after the inevitable British attack, how many hours will it be before the Guardian article claiming we need a new flag, and not “this aggressive, jagged explosion”? 6 is not a low guess.

 

I’m done with Doctor Who.

Because what the FUCK is this SHIT?

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I was also interested, on my other blog, to note that India will apparently be more monoracial in 300 years time. Imagine if they showed a similar scene in the Britain of 2314, with all white characters?

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And what’s this in the next issue? “The Weeping Angels of Mons”. Note they are going to end up in “the trenches”. The trenches, as in those things that hadn’t been dug at the time of the retreat from Mons?

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Never mind, eh? No doubt the whole point of the story is to say “the right things” about class war (class war from the perspective of yanks, anyway. Or maybe Brits who wish they were yanks, which is even worse). You can see the heartless generals ordering working class men into No-man’s Land at gunpoint already, can’t you? Never mind that they were actually being led into battle by junior officers, most from exactly the same educated, privileged background as those generals, and an order of maginitude more likely to be killed. As they were supposed to be “leading by example”, and snipers always went for officers. To say nothing of the fact that several of those junior officers, leading their men to doom, may have been the nephews or sons of the generals planning the attack… or even that 22 generals themselves died in pointless charges, over the course of the war (no doubt trying to prove that their amazing “run towards the enemy’s machine guns” tactics will work, this time).

Still, we all know what “amazing, shocking revelation” is coming up on the TV show. I suspect a lot of people are planning to bail, at that point. I might as well just git while the gittin’s gud. It’s made for San Francisco hipsters, now, anyway. It’s no longer for the likes of us. The £40-a-year-licence, stripped-to-bare-bones BBC can’t come soon enough, if you ask me.

EDIT: I had a peek at the next issue in the shop. Yeah, tin helmets and trenches before Archduke Ferdinand’s body was even cold. Top research, there.

Might as well use this blog for dream recording.

I did want to do a massive post about Jeremy Clarkson and cultural marxism (even back in April, I would have called anybody who used that phrase a tinfoil hatter. But I’ve been comprehensively “woken up” since then), but could never be arsed to write it. So here’s a copy and pasted post from Facebook.

Oh yeah, the other night I had this bonkers dream, where a colour-changing dragon attacked “London” (it looked more like Osaka, crossed with Prague, crossed with that town in Poland/Ukraine where the BBC team were based in the European cup). Fortunately, this was in the combined Marvel, DC and MGM universes, so they had a load of heroes to fight it (actually, I think one of the My Little Pony’s was in it too). They all had to get some item roughly corresponding to their outfit colour, and I was James Bond (in a white suit), so had to get some white item. Many of the items were just chocolate bars XD. Anyway, having been given my orders directly by Tony Blair in Parliament (which is not exactly secret), I set off to find a milky bar, or whatever, but ended up creeping around some dark room.

The Hong Kong “Umbrella Revolution”

May soon also be known as the “chalk revolution”, thanks to a trend of people writing messages down the roads they are camped out on. No doubt we’ll soon be seeing an Upworthy of “the most inspiring” messages. Right next to a load of “This one video will make any man who watches it a feminist” TED Talk things. (What the fuck is TED, anyway? And where did it spring from, all of a sudden?).

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These have all been renamed, shrunk and had ‘variants’ added. To make it more difficult to track them back

Anyway, one of the first people to do some of the chalking was somebody I know, who I once went cocktail drinkin’ with back in 2011 or so.

As this is the first “Occupy” protest I actually support (and the first one with a clear aim, unlike the politics-of-envy “We’ll stay here until you make things better!” childish rentamobs, seen elsewhere), I’ve added the golden ribbon to my Facebook and, er, been cranking a pirated Beyond live CD?

Oh, and…

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Who I once was

We had a family lockup, but with impending financial trouble have emptied it to sell / use stuff, and save money on renting it. Unfortunately we lost the key for one of the cabinets, and have turned the place upside down looking for it. I didn’t find it on top of my wardrobe, but I did find most of my old college work, and the doodles I’d done on it. There’s actually surprisingly few doodles – don’t tell me I was actually paying attention!

Anyway, I thought I’d scan in the most amusing doodles and upload them to Facebook, but as facebook shrinks them, I’ll also put them on here. As you can see, I was an anarchist at the time, and wrote a lot of hilariously embarrassing political messages. College was a pretty traumatic time for me. Mainly because the one I went to was full of GCSE-failing chavs who were doing either bricklaying or leisure and tourism, and mainly because it was 2001 and people were scummy then. But also it was because I had all these ultra-leftist beliefs, which would today be labelled “SJW”. My pronouncements on the evils of capitalism and the tories alienated most of my friends, or potential friends. I was also pretty shy and looked ridiculous (even more so than now XD).

Strangely, while I was often talking about overthrowing the government, calling people sexist for saying girls were sexy, and glorifying the antics of 80’s leftist protesters who kicked Nicky Crane’s head in (I didn’t know what happened to him afterwards, the only thing I’d heard about him came from a pirated Oi Polloi mp3), I never made a peep about gay rights, and only ever told a couple of people I was bi. So we can add cowardice to my many failings.

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Die, hideous creature, die!

Protip: If you are going to complain about old Doctor Who comic strips featuring the Doctor resorting to violence to solve things…

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make sure you don’t do it in a comic in which he recruits a couple of Ice Warriors to help him build an army to lead a mutiny on a slave ship…

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…and then brush off his companion’s concerns about them being left to roam the galaxy in a captured warship.

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Mind you, is that line so “notorious”? Given the rarity and expense of Doctor Who-containing issues of TV Comic, I’d be willing to bet that article is the first time many whovians have even heard of it. Is that article, in fact, an attempt to give the previously-highly-obscure line it’s notoriety, and thus another attempt by the chattering classes to discredit and undermine traditional British adventure comics? To persuade modern comic fans that they are not even worth bothering with?

Such attitudes, rife in the pages of 2000AD and the Megazine, very nearly infected me. Luckily somebody was able to sneak an article about Sexton Blake in, which turned me onto my current path. How long will it be before the original (and by far best) Dan Dare begins to be offhandedly dismissed in this manner? The Billy Bunter stories are already branded “elitist”, “classist”, “racist” and many other things which it is difficult to find any evidence of if you actually read them.

The Olympics are great, aren’t they?

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He’s already got the knighthood, what the hell are we going to give him now?

It’s brilliant when the Olympics are on, especially when they are “at home”. Every radio, TV and computer you pass has some event playing on it. You can linger and discuss the chances of teams. It’s always a conversation starter, “did you see the tennis final?” and so on. It really brings people of all nations together, especially in a cosmopolitan place like my work, and Cambridge in general. People talking about the respective merits of their country’s athletes, and what sports their country is strong at (Ethiopians for distance running, tier “high altitude training” is their lives XD).

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It’s also a chance for more obscure sports to shine. Back in the good old days you had Grandstand on TV every week, showing the highlights from all kinds of sports – equestrian, shooting, diving, swimming… These days if you want to see them you have to pay for satellite and watch obscure channels, or else wait for the Olympics! At least in the Olympics the very best athletes are competing, sports you normally don’t give a crap about, like Basketball, become must-see events with nailbiting knockout rounds. It’s like the World or European cup on an immeasurably bigger scale, and for people who don’t like football, too!

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Of course, the Olympics do have their detractors – the fucking reds. It’s hilariously ironic that this great event, which gets everybody talking about the same subject, causes people to walk with a spring in their step and which sparks off friendly conversations between people of all different nationalities is anathema to the Marx-lovers. They are always banging on about “uniting the people”, yet when something actually does all they can do is complain about “flag waving”, lament all the speed cameras and wet hostels the money could have been spent on, and start calling sport “simulated war”. They are out of touch, their ideology is a discredited anachronism. They have no answers.

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I’ve not watched the opening ceremony yet, but by all accounts it was brilliant. Sensible people said it was brilliant, and reds said that it was a farce, a waste of money and that the tribute to the NHS was pathetic. One red of my acquaintance even went as far as saying that, instead of the NHS, they should have used something that “the British people are proud of”. Hilariously out of touch. A yank red then went on to say that a tribute to the NHS implied that Britain was the only country with ‘socialized medicare’. Hilariously out of touch. With recommendations like that, I can’t wait to iplayer it… as soon as I’ve finished backlogged blog entries, comic-making and sorting out my comic/book/horror film collection (again! more on that when it’s done).

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Oh yeah, I still have plenty of actual sport to iplayer too. I watched the women’s 56kg weightlifting, and very good it was too. The German competitor was hilarious, she screamed as she lifted, then people started screaming back, so she played up to it XD. She couldn’t manage to lift her heaviest weight either, but took defeat in good grace. Oh and of course our own Zoe Smith set a new British record at only 18, one to watch in 2016! The other day I was lifting 25kg bags of dishwasher salt one at a time, staggering about with them, feeling like my arms were being ripped out. Puts things in perspective! I also started watching the lighter weight women’s weightlifting, because the eventual winner looked cwute. I also want to watch the women’s 10m air rifle, the first event for which a medal was awarded. And after that, I’ll catch up on the events of day 2… XD. I hope the BBC keeps their catchups online for a long time, or else releases a DVD box set.

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One thing I wondered, though, is where the hell Rugby is? And Cricket… though there is an international competition going on at the moment. Mind you though, if you had Rugby you could make a case for American Football, which only the cheeseburger chuggers give a shit about, so they’d win it all the time. And if you had cricket, why not baseball, which only the cheeseburger chuggers and, er, sushi snackers(?) give a shit about, so they’d win it all the time.

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But didn’t Olympics used to have “exhibition sports”? One ‘unique’ to the host country that other nationalities were welcomed to try? Surely for Britain Rugby or Cricket would have been ideal! Or, if not those, how about a knockout tournament of rowing eights on the Oxford / Cambridge course? I can understand them having the ‘proper’ races on a ‘fairer’ rectangular lake, but ‘not serious’ races on the Thames would give millions upon millions of people a chance to watch at least one event for free (the course goes for bloody miles). And of course how more “London” can you get than constant racing on the Thames for the duration of the games? Terrible missed opportunity, that.

A Terrible Tomboy – interesting book

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I found this book in Oxfam for £3 today, and thought it looked interesting. At first I thought it’d be like a short story I read in an issue of School Friend from 1960, where a tomboy who likes tinkering with motorbikes is “cured” by her prim-and-proper friend (if you think all old British girl’s comics / books were like that, you’re thick and brainwashed. Go and actually read some). But the story appears to instead celebrate her tomboyishness. Just look at these illustrations:

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Pictured: Not what you’d expect from 1904!

A girl who helps her brother explore dingy caves, and gives boys that (I assume, not read it yet) bully him a fwightful thwashin’? They ought to re-publish this today! It’d be far better than all this shitty, “original”, “It’s like cinderella except she doesn’t really love the prince, and it’s set in ☼JAPAN☼” bollocks. I can’t see why they shouldn’t reprint it today…

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Pictured: What you would expect from 1904

…oh. Never mind, then.

Ely Funfair

On the day I went to the May MCM Expo, I took a wee detour into Ely first, so I could photograph the funfair. Notice how it is taking up a good half of one of Ely’s central car parks:

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It was early in the morning, so it wasn’t open

Well that’s so far, so fucked up. The funfair used to be in a much more sensible location, a nice piece of barely-used grassy field ‘behind’ the main shopping street (as far as Ely has such a thing, anyway):

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Ideal

Unfortunately, that ideal piece of funfair land is next door to this:

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That place that had no objection to an apple festival being held next door once

So of course, Darwin-defying dribblescum complained that having the funfair on that piece of green was “insulting”, and forced it to move to one of the car parks – of which there is far from enough in the centre of Ely anyway. There is a pay car park on the outskirts, with a bus that runs into the town – which is an ideal solution in Cambridge. But Ely is, well, only Ely. I only ever go there for the dentist, or on the odd occasion when Cambridge will be too painful to travel to (IE, when Strawberry Fair is on) and I want me Commando comics.

Of course, trying to park in the centre of Ely past about 11 in the morning is a pointless, polluting procession around the centre – followed by giving up and going to Cambridge anyway. Driving 25-odd unnecessary miles and adding a few more degrees to the global temperature.

The ideal solution would be to build a multi-storey car park in the middle of the city (yes it is!), but this newspaper cutting I intended to upload to my website when I relaunched it in 2005 or so says:

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Possibly when our white elephant scheme has proven successful we might maybe consider doing something sensible.

And I doubt those regulations have changed since. Mind you, the public transport situation from the villages has actually got far worse! Small wonder, the “hopper bus” is not going to recoup it’s costs until the city centre is attractive enough for people to want to spend a day out there.