I’m done with Doctor Who.

Because what the FUCK is this SHIT?

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I was also interested, on my other blog, to note that India will apparently be more monoracial in 300 years time. Imagine if they showed a similar scene in the Britain of 2314, with all white characters?

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And what’s this in the next issue? “The Weeping Angels of Mons”. Note they are going to end up in “the trenches”. The trenches, as in those things that hadn’t been dug at the time of the retreat from Mons?

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Never mind, eh? No doubt the whole point of the story is to say “the right things” about class war (class war from the perspective of yanks, anyway. Or maybe Brits who wish they were yanks, which is even worse). You can see the heartless generals ordering working class men into No-man’s Land at gunpoint already, can’t you? Never mind that they were actually being led into battle by junior officers, most from exactly the same educated, privileged background as those generals, and an order of maginitude more likely to be killed. As they were supposed to be “leading by example”, and snipers always went for officers. To say nothing of the fact that several of those junior officers, leading their men to doom, may have been the nephews or sons of the generals planning the attack… or even that 22 generals themselves died in pointless charges, over the course of the war (no doubt trying to prove that their amazing “run towards the enemy’s machine guns” tactics will work, this time).

Still, we all know what “amazing, shocking revelation” is coming up on the TV show. I suspect a lot of people are planning to bail, at that point. I might as well just git while the gittin’s gud. It’s made for San Francisco hipsters, now, anyway. It’s no longer for the likes of us. The £40-a-year-licence, stripped-to-bare-bones BBC can’t come soon enough, if you ask me.

EDIT: I had a peek at the next issue in the shop. Yeah, tin helmets and trenches before Archduke Ferdinand’s body was even cold. Top research, there.

Doctor Who

curlygreatturd

Pessimistic (realistic) predictions for the 50th:

– The epic Dalek invasion / mass destruction scenes will come right at the end, and will amount to no more than 30 seconds in total.

– Some sort of deadly, surrounded by Daleks situation will not be solved by a clever McGuyver’d way out, but by technobabble and reversing polarities so that the Daleks suddenly back off comically.

– The Daleks will eventually be stopped by some more technonabble, probably with the result that their invasion “never happened”. It will likely involve the opening of the core of the Tardis again. “Can only be used once (has already been used twice)”, as that hilarious LM2 blog I found once said.

– 11 will have another lengthy, tearful goodbye with Rose, and probably kiss her.

– Some clue hidden at the start of the episode will point to the doubtless anticlimactic, “magic” ending.

– Captain Jack won’t be in it.

– Neither will any old Doctors (apart from the newly-revealed “warrior” one of course).

– The Daleks will be inexplicably teamed up, in an equal partnership, with at least one other monster (like the utterly ridiculous “cram them all in” Pandorica thing), even though they’re supposed to hate every other race and only manipulate them or use them as slaves (as we will hear in An Adventure in Space and Time, no doubt. They’re taking the piss out of us, aren’t they?). It will probably be The Great Intelligence, an omnipresent and very powerful foe. Though this episode appears to be set in The Time War, there’s been no mention of anything other than the Daleks being involved in it up until now. Kind of like saying World War 2 was just Britain against Germany and ignoring the USA, France, Japan and Russia entirely.

– Even when fighting in a war for their very existence, the Time Lords will be shown to be decadent and corrupt. To use another WW2 analogy, imagine if British people had carried on living as if it was the twenties in the forties?

– Elizabeth the First is going to be in it (already confirmed). It will be 11 who makes her angry, even though it was 10 that she recognised on sight.

– It will not be a complete episode, but “continued at Christmas”. Thus, in future years, it won’t be able to be sold as a feature length, one-off “quick introduction”, like The Five Doctors is now.

Optimistic predictions

(Yes, I am aware some of these contradict the above).

– The storyline will involve time travel to many different periods in Earth’s history, and we’ll actually see something of them (not an alley and a Dansette, as “1969” was represented in the Weeping Angels one. Perhaps we’ll see 1973 with Gene Hunt!

– We will see the first Doctor, Susan and the junk yard, new scenes with David Bradley and Claudia Grant. Perhaps also the nearby school from Remembrance of the Daleks.

– Davros will be in it, we’ll see his “final death in the war” (which he survived).

– The Master (not John Simm, he’s in the future!) will briefly appear, but will hide himself and be branded a “deserter”.

– Captain Jack and/or The Face of Boe will be in it!

– The Cybermen won’t be in it. Their next epic storyline (their last epic storyline being in 1968) will probably be on their 50th anniversary, in 2016

– It will answer more Moffatt-era questions than it poses (yeah right!).

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Die, hideous creature, die!

Protip: If you are going to complain about old Doctor Who comic strips featuring the Doctor resorting to violence to solve things…

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make sure you don’t do it in a comic in which he recruits a couple of Ice Warriors to help him build an army to lead a mutiny on a slave ship…

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…and then brush off his companion’s concerns about them being left to roam the galaxy in a captured warship.

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Mind you, is that line so “notorious”? Given the rarity and expense of Doctor Who-containing issues of TV Comic, I’d be willing to bet that article is the first time many whovians have even heard of it. Is that article, in fact, an attempt to give the previously-highly-obscure line it’s notoriety, and thus another attempt by the chattering classes to discredit and undermine traditional British adventure comics? To persuade modern comic fans that they are not even worth bothering with?

Such attitudes, rife in the pages of 2000AD and the Megazine, very nearly infected me. Luckily somebody was able to sneak an article about Sexton Blake in, which turned me onto my current path. How long will it be before the original (and by far best) Dan Dare begins to be offhandedly dismissed in this manner? The Billy Bunter stories are already branded “elitist”, “classist”, “racist” and many other things which it is difficult to find any evidence of if you actually read them.

A couple o comics

A while back, Cambridge Oxfam had a load of early 90’s Beanos in. They included this one:

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Which I beleive is the first ever one that I got (though I can’t remember exactly, pretty sure it had The Pink Glove on it though). Up until then I’d been getting “Turtle Comics”, and pestered my mum to buy them whenever she went to the shop. Of course “Turtle Comics” was probably a flavour-of-the-month craze cash-in, which had been cancelled. So my mum got a “steady rock” of the British comics industry (they had such a thing in those days… just about) “to keep that brat’s mouth shut”. Now I’m a sad, single shut-in with more comic shelves than walls. Result!

On the subject of cool comics, this actually exists:

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Though I only have issues 1 and 3. Better ebay the others, eh?

Three Saturdays

Not updated this again for ages. Dum de dum. Things have been ticking over, issue 2 of my comic (supposed to be cover dated March – April) is still not finished, but ought to be tomorrow. Only the editor’s page and a map to do!

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EXTERMINATE!

Also Doctor Who is back on, but I missed the start of the episode just gone >.<, I notice it appeared to show a prosperous India of the future, with it’s own space programme. I notice that this prosperous India of the future was still full of ethnically Indian people, though. I remember some “leaked episode synopsis” that was doing the rounds before the last series, which suggested there would be an episode set in Japan in the 2170’s. I bet if the BBC had actually made that, the Japan of the 2170’s would still be populated entirely by ethnically Japanese people.

Of course, in my own comics, scenes set on the future Earth will have, say, a mostly black guy (‘pure’ races will be rare hundreds of years in the future) named Vladimir Rodriguez, who comes from Tokyo and mainly speaks Japanese. Just to ridicule this “mah effnic origin” disease that the yanks are into, which is infecting Britain at an alarming rate.

But enough of that. Two saturdays ago (or 1 week BDW) we had a huge storm. There wasn’t much visible lightning, but the thunder was just a constant rumble, it sounded like when you are videoing something and the wind blows against the microphone. I did capture a bit of footage, some of the thunder and some of the rain.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wj_DpbIINUQ

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HXJEKD_oetc

There had also been hail before that, I got a few photo of that after it had finished.

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There was also cool-looking clouds and sewage coming out of the drains, which somebody drove through really fast with their window down slightly, lawl.

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Anyway, on the second of these saturdays, I trolled into Cambridge to see my friend Asha. Except (as usual) she took forever to get ready (it was literally like all day). So Instead I wandered around Charity shops killing time. So, lets just turn this into a haul post!

The best thing I got was this:

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Grummock yer parts…

It’s a tape of Round the Horne , the greatest radio comedy ever! It’s where Julian and Sandy, who I’ve just noticed I never posted about (to my shame, got a CD of them ages ago), come from. Anyway, it evolved out of another show called Beyond our Ken (the host of both was Kenneth Horne), but was a lot funnier.

Anyway, this box contains 2 tapes, which are supposed to be the third set of four episodes. But one of them is actually from the tenth set, but as the show had got into it’s stride then I won’t complain! Anyway, aside from Julian and Sandy (polari-speaking queens who did a different, innuendo-laced, job each week)

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‘Evvy Metal

I also got this, for the amazing price of 10p. It’s an old demo tape by a band called Jackal, probably from some time in the 80’s, or maybe early 90’s. The paper insert appears to have been produced on a photocopier, and the red has been hand-coloured. An (admittedly vague) search of the internet has failed to turn up any reference to a metal band called Jackal, so I assume they are long since defunct. Shame, the music is actually pretty damn good (in fact, better than some early thrash which was signed by big labels – like old Testament – which all sounds like it’s recorded in an echoing empty room).

Also, I have been looking at Danny Choo, and his other site called Figure FM, recently. A lot of people were posting pictures of their “otaku rooms”, awash with manga, anime DVD’s and figures. I wanted to tart up my own otaku room a bit, though of course I am an otaku by the Japanese definition and not the foreign one XD. I needed some models to display – no, not anime figures! I’m an otaku for old British culture, and that means…

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Airfix!

I’d seen this set advertised in Commando a few times. You get two planes and a display stand for yer money. I got that one because “jet planes are easier, they’re just pipes with wings on” and also having an Argentine plane would be a bit “weird”. I presume the standard Douglas Skyhawk kit Airfix make comes with 1960’s US Air Force decals. I’ve not started to make this yet, though. As it will be displayed I want to get it right, so got a ‘simpler’ kit to ‘practice’ with. Of course I made tons of these as a kid (I also did a bunch of cheap foreign kits which never got painted, bright green ME109 ahoy!), but I usually just slapped on single coats of paint, glued on the decals (paper and all) and then they got broken and chucked out XD.

Oh yeah, the display cabinet itself, well I got that (along with some other bits) a few weeks ago when I went to Ikea. It’s a Detolf cabinet, which nearly all the otaku rooms on Danny Choo have XD. I have stuffed it with various odds and ends at the moment, but they’ll be gradually replaced by Airfix planes and ships (got my eye on a huge Golden Hind, but that will be tough to build), Gundams and a few (and I mean a few, possibly two XD) anime figures XD.

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The full thing. All that crap next to it is a stack of Roy of the Rovers which desperately needs gaps filling, putting in order and binding into 6-monthly books. Anybody got a spare grand?

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Some Lego stuff, including the Lego Felney characters, from when I had a regular webcomic (ha!) and the scanner broke. Also some limited edition Corgi Minis, a limited edition Lotus F1 model (now very battered and with sun-faded stickers) and some other bits.

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A Download Festival programme, a Star Wars toy, more lego (“FW Devil 1” is a ship of my own creation called a Slasher), some Judge Dredd cards that the Megazine gave away, my Camcon wristband and some bijou statuettes.

And so on to today. Today was the second day of “Open Cambridge”, an event I also went to in 2010. Basically various colleges open up certain seldom-seen parts to the public for free. Lots of guided tripettes also take place around the city, but those were all fully booked months ago. Anyway I made a list of small libraries in colleges that I wanted to see and trolled around, only to find that this year’s Open Cambridge had a slight difference, namely, it was shut! Still I did go to the Whipple Museum (which is open to the public all the time anyway) and to the Sporting Christ’s exhibition, in one of the libraries there (which, it turned out, is a separate exhibition running for the duration of the Olympics and a good month and a half either side to boot XD).

Buut before that, I went into Ely and got a simpler Airfix kit, from the “City Cycle Centre”, an independent toy and hobby shop (with a side of DIY and, of course, cycling). I used to go in there a lot as a kid, but then we called it Zaskies, for some reason. It used to sell these wicked cap guns that looked almost like real rifles and shotguns, you wouldn’t see that these days! Anyway, up the stairs and round the corner used to be the Airfix (well and Revell, Tamiya and so on), Warhammer and Hornby department. These were all still in roughly the places I remember, but are now bigger(!) than they were when I was a kid. The back wall has also been knocked through and a load of other rooms (perhaps store rooms or other shops before) have now been incorporated into the main shop. Anyway, which simpler kit did I buy just to get my eye in? Which do you think?

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Can’t beat the classics!

… Mind you, if they’d had a Red Arrow I probably would have got that XD. It was £8, though the same sorts of kits in Model Zone (where I got that Falklands set) are only £5.99, you have to support these independent shops or they’ll disappear!

After that I trolled off to Cambridge, to be disappointed XD. Still I couldn’t resist the Haunted Bookshop, and bought a hardback, cloth-bound prospectus for a girl’s boarding school. Like you do. There’s an inscription dated 1943 in it, but I should think the book itself is older, from before rationing, because the paper is lovely, thick and glossy. It has a great many photos, which will be useful reference material for illustrations in my own boarding school story, Xin Zhou’s Schooldays – the first chapters of which will appear in the Red, White & Blue issue 2, erm, eventually!

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Dream machines

That Doctor Who Anime has been deleted from Youtube! And so have the trailers, so it’s likely that the BBC/Terry Nation estate asked for it to be taken down. Though hopefully only so they can employ the bloke themselves to turn it into a full and epic episode!

Let’s face it “Doctor Who Anime” is an idea that writes itself, so it will inevitably be done one day. However it’s likely that if it was done “normally” it would be done with un-detailed, cheap and crude animation, and probably be farmed out to some yank outfit with no knowledge/respect for the source material. The fact a fan-made movie “got in first” and is absolutely awesome will have put them on the back foot!

Anyway it is, for now, still viewable. Though I won’t say how.

Metatube. Free Music Zilla. Still works, With, Download it, On.

Ooops a random series of words appears to have been typed by my cat walking over the keyboard. Luckily they have no relevance to anything.

Aaanyway…

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It’s my old bike!!

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It’s still got a Jurassic Park sticker on it and everything!!

From the dream machine of my childhood to the one of my adulthood:

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I didn’t blur the plate, the camera is just that bad

I don’t own one of these and as I want to emigrate to Japan probably never will! The sacrifices we make for love, eh? Of course my “wanted car” often revolves around a lot. In recent times it’s been a ‘rat look’ Volvo 240 saloon (proper rat look not chav rat look, which is one rusty panel and a load of stickers). Then a ’48 Chevy Fleetline Coupe, A ’54 Cadillac, A Deuce kit car (also a rat-look rod!), A Split-Screen Morris Minor and an Austin Seven. But the Capri is always number 1!

“Well that’s the cherry on fucking top!”

Me after slipping whilst wiping after shitting after discovering why you shouldn’t violently sneeze while sitting down if you feel like you need a shit but can’t be bothered to go.

Always obey the arse signals!

Also Doctor Who was a bit weird but good. I was worried it was going to repeat the crap series ending of last year when all the various villains inexplicably teamed up but then ran away because the Doctor, er, told them to. Also the idea of a Silurian detective just hanging around in London is a bit weird, there’s an untold story there! Oh and of course there was “the twist” and the next episode features Nazis!

Mind you though I hope it’s not Nazis tinkering with some alien device that’s “beyond their understanding” and then threatens the world. Apart from the fact that plot’s been done to death the show needs to feature humans that are actually evil enough to want to commit genocide and take over the world on their own without alien influence/help.Speaking of Doctor who, this fan-video is amazing!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ePtj3z8rSq4&feature=feedu

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So, apparently, Doctor Who was back on last night and I didn’t know. Time to try this iplayer thing, then.

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Link O the day: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-13160950

This is cool because:

– Petrol engines actually throw away most of the energy put into them, and have barely improved in 100 years. Austin Seven’s from the 20’s can get the same MPG as a comparable modern hatchback (it just goes a bit faster). This was a problem recognised even in the 1936 Chatterbox annual. Actually using all the energy contained in the petrol will make the earth’s shrinking supplies go a great deal further.

– The more completely you burn something, the less pollution you get. This is GCSE science. Hopefully the government is slow to react and still bases car tax on carbon dioxide emissions, so suddenly everybody who ‘upgrades’ will get insanely cheap tax.

– FUCKING LASERS.

Oh also I have a blogroll but for some reason the links don’t appear. Still it’s better than my Japan blog where everything you can click on takes you back to it’s main page. I have done NOTHING different in the settings of these blogs to the settings of my comic blog, which works properly. So I have no clue what’s going on. I might have to delete the Japan one and start it again from scratch.