Essex Lion

New sighting:


Admittedly this ought to have been posted well over a month ago. Remember that Labour MP who was pulled up for saying “white people love playing divide and conquer” and got caught? (Fuck off back to yankland, we don’t want their racial-chip-on-the-shoulder disease here) I made a “racist and sexist list of sexual conquests” list in response to it, which would have been hilarious at the time.

Yang Rui is a cunt

Not updated this for ages again. I really need to sort out some Japan pictures and put them on here with angry rants. I also need to go on about the yanks are going to murder Julian Assange, and how many innocent bystanders they will kill doing it. Anyway, some general updates:

– There’s two sets of major roadworks in Cambridge at the moment, so I am currently getting up at 5 past 5 in the morning and going in roughly 50 minutes earlier than usual. I get there about an hour earlier than usual, then sit about reading, before going off to the computer room at my normal arrival time and doing some story writing (or more likely staring at facebook and forums pointlessley). Why yes, that is an insane time to get up. Why yes, I ought to have gone to bed an hour and a half ago. But I’m going to finish these posts at least, because I wasted all evening finishing reading a book and have done no real work on my comics for a month.

– I intended to do 6 issues of the Red, White & Blue and 3 of The Trident this year. It’s looking more like I’ll do 3 of the RWB and none of The Trident. Issue 2 of the RWB is still not finished, it was supposed to be cover dated March-April. And that’s with most of the artwork already done, remember. I hope to really “put my foot down” and get the RWB up to quarterly next year! Then once I’ve done issue 5 I’ll drop the page count and get an A3 scanner, which will hopefully allow for just as ‘much’ comic, but on fewer pages and so drawn more quickly. The Trident may as well be regarded as cancelled, which is a shame as the first story was the origin of one of my major characters. Oh well, Judge Dredd ran for 30 years before we saw his proper origin. Maybe I’ll serialise it in the distant future.

– I’m getting back into Airfix, as I said before. I’ve started the Spitfire starter kit, but am working very slowly. It is, at last, plane shaped! But I need to get various accessories used by serious modellers (not that I am one) before I continue. One of which is a floor polish called Klear, which modellers of all stripes (Airfix, Warhammer, Gundam etc) appear to swear by for ‘fixing’ paint and improving transparent parts.


I was planning to build it with “nothing but what’s in the box”, but refused to have black exhausts, a grey-faced pilot and no bright propellor ends.

– Samsung Kies is FUCKING CUNTING SHITWIPE. I take photos of amusing stuff I see around with my phone, but my phone is ‘special’, so you can’t just connect it to the computer and transfer pictures over. Unlike my Nokia from two-thousand-and-fucking-eight. Because Samsung Kies just plain doesn’t work at all, transferring pictures is an involved process, which probably explains why this blog isn’t being updated with random snaps of everything cool I buy. BUT I’ll have to get a new PC soon as this one is about dead. First item on the agenda: A built-in card reader! Currently I have to use my crappy cheap “netbook” to transfer pictures to a USB stick, then use that to put the pictures on my “non-netbook”, which unlike my “netbook” is actually able to connect to the internet.


Remember the days when technology was built to WORK, not dick-wave it’s features?

Had the Mini out the other weekend


Fucking hell, ever since booking my holiday to Japan all I’ve done is stare at the internet, looking at places to visit in Kyoto (in all of the two days I’ll be there), for weeks on end. Anyway, when I wasn’t doing that, me and dad had my Mini out, as we had to move it from the drive to the side of the house. It’s needed the waxoyl on the underside “topping up” since 2006, and we kept saying we’d do it “in the summer”. Also since finishing Uni I decided I’d get it out “in the summer”, but that never happened either.



Anyway, we got the cover off, for the first time since possibly 2009, and discovered that it was still pretty shiny and had not rusted away, woohoo. A few insects had also got under there and long since perished. We then attempted to start it, using a knackered old battery. After several tries I remembered that it was built as a racer, and so has an electrical cut off. With the key put in that it still refused to start, though did make clicking noises.


Less than no frills. Also using the heater pumps carbon monoxide into the cabin, which isn’t good.

After jump-starts, and a lot of faffing about, it finally ran… sort of. The engine was running at very high revs, but would still cut out if I didn’t keep my foot slightly down. Dad adjusted the carbs, and then it ran at high revs even when I wasn’t touching the pedal. Oh well, we can fix it properly next summer, when I’ll really drive it (or will have moved to Japan and need to sell it).


Anyway, at one stage in the adjustments it conked out completely and wouldn’t start. I suggested it may have run out of petrol, as it was running at such high revs. Dad put some more in, and that did the trick. After moving it, though, we found some animal had made a nest of leaves (with a small entrance, and burrow into the gravel) under the sump guard. This was empty, but damp. We moved the leaves and discovered the burrow was filled with petrol, there was also a trail halfway around the side of the house. So basically i’d been sitting in a bare metal container, on top of a huge fireball waiting to happen, starting and re-starting electrical ignition systems.


Those lights do actually work, though I preferred covering them up, but one of the covers has now perished 🙁

Anyway, whichever weekend this was (can’t even remember now) was at the start of one of the few sunny periods of this summer, so for a week or two afterwards we got a strong whiff of petrol whenever we opened the front door. But it was finally washed away by the recent rain. A match might have got rid of it sooner, mind you.


Also the exhaust was a bit sooty.

Buggered up my thumb

The other day, I did a bit more “epic defrosting” at work. Not completely defrosting a freezer this time, just chipping away enough ice that I could shut the door again. Unfortunately this time around I used as disassemble-able screwdriver, and it disassembled while I was chipping the ice. As I was going so fast I hit my thumb against the “other end” of the part that had stuck in the ice, resulting in:


This is the most I’ve sucked my thumb since I was a toddler

The best part? I was wearing a white Nitrile glove at the time, and the glove was totally undamaged! I could see a dark stain spreading inside it, and was thinking “If I don’t look at the actual injury, it won’t hurt” XD

Sick ohhh

So said the Myspace blog (lol, remember those?) entry of somebody I really ought to have made more of an effort to prang once. Anyway on Saturday I thought I’d made ‘decent’ progress on the Sentinel and The Small Press Digest, and was planning to spend Sunday tapping out reviews / angry Sun-style articles to fill the pages of them. Instead I woke up on Sunday with a badly running nose and the feeling that a load of red-hot iron filings had settled on the bottom of my sinuses, wonderful.


pictured: scientific accuracy

(Drawing that actually made the pain worse >.< I ought to draw something nice). So anyway I spent the whole day looking at instead of drawing or writing. And after a sleepless night I phoned in sick to work today and did more of the same, though feeling slightly better. Ought to manage to go tomorrow. Total number of sick days used in 3 years of working there: 2!

I did go and collect lots and lots of extra-strong Lockets from Tesco though (Tunes are shit these days, the “real fruit juice” they have been “improved” with just gives them a horrendous aftertaste). Of course my dad, with his usual slug-like sub-telligence, couldn’t fathom the idea that a sleepless night of illness might not put me in the mood for doing a load of shopping. So of course he had to drone out “Cayn Yew Gäeeeeeet……” as slowly as possible while the one remaining locket in my mouth (to avoid a running nose while I’m driving) rapidly vanished.

My brother also moved out of the house yesterday, ahh peace and quiet. No longer will I have to suffer his “sense of humour”. Which amounts to loudly repeating a lolarious line from some podcast he’s listened to, out of context, for a fucking month.


1 – Killed self in a car accident while drink driving

2 – Locked up for molesting children

3 – whatever – Dunno, but with that sort of start I doubt they did much good. Kids of today: Don’t be an arsehole at school, it’ll only get worse!

Actually come to think of it my whole school year was a bit shitty. They were oh-so “mature”. When we were 11 – 12 we went to this Anglo-Saxon hill fort and I bought a toy axe in the gift shop, cue a years worth of bullying. The year after me all bought toy swords and were having mock battles on the bus.

Still the whole school in general had no sense of humour. An Irish bloke at my work was talking about how on one of the leaving days at his school the whole year all sat in thier classes quietly and patiently and played no pranks, which left the teachers baffled. Then they found out that six of the kids were missing, they had released some extremely well-fed pigeons into the open-plan upstairs! You could never have organised a whole year-wide prank like that at my school. The good/mental kids would have blabbed it to the teachers in five minutes flat and the bullies would just have laughed at the idea that somebody is trying to organise a big prank rather than loads of little ones.

Then again it wasn’t entirely confined to my year. The teachers had a crackdown on people standing up on the bus once. Oh how I dreamed of having the whole top deck of our bus stand up as one just as it went around the corner exiting the school. Of course If I’d had this idea, turned around to the people sitting behind me and told them to pass it on backwards through the bus they would probably have just looked at me like I’d shat on their shoes.

Silly cat


Pace Farm

Yes, that’s an oven glove.

Also I did some epic defrosting last week at work but have been too lazy to post a proper entry about it yet. I was writing an entry about Graffix books in my comic blog and it took all bloody night. Oh well I’ll get around to the defrosting pictures soon I hope.

Still wondering if I ought to try and become an ALT in Japan again. It seems like my girlfriend doesn’t give a shit about the relationship any more and I hardly have any other reason to go there long term (it doesn’t take a year to see the Mikasa, Jimbocho and the Yasukuni Shrine!). She won’t “officially” break up with me but I consider myself “open to better offers” XD. The better offer preferably having cute hair (short on girls, long on guys) brown or black eyes and living within 50 miles!

“Well that’s the cherry on fucking top!”

Me after slipping whilst wiping after shitting after discovering why you shouldn’t violently sneeze while sitting down if you feel like you need a shit but can’t be bothered to go.

Always obey the arse signals!

Also Doctor Who was a bit weird but good. I was worried it was going to repeat the crap series ending of last year when all the various villains inexplicably teamed up but then ran away because the Doctor, er, told them to. Also the idea of a Silurian detective just hanging around in London is a bit weird, there’s an untold story there! Oh and of course there was “the twist” and the next episode features Nazis!

Mind you though I hope it’s not Nazis tinkering with some alien device that’s “beyond their understanding” and then threatens the world. Apart from the fact that plot’s been done to death the show needs to feature humans that are actually evil enough to want to commit genocide and take over the world on their own without alien influence/help.Speaking of Doctor who, this fan-video is amazing!