サクハリンは日本

Apparently there’s some big event going on in yankland at the moment. I think it’s the superbowl, or something. It must be, the BBC aren’t fucking shutting up about it. They care more about the superbowl than the FA cup final, wandering around interviewing people having barbecues outside it and talking about how that’s really healing the disconnects of the American dream after 9/11.

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One of the pigshit-thick, gun-waving cheeseburger chuggers.

Anyway, I think it’s between the Mets and the Giants, whoever they are. Mind you, New York, home of the Mets, recently got smashed up by the kamikaze as payback for all the yanks saying the tsunami in Japan was payback for Pearl Harbour a year and a half ago. Mind you, I suppose it’s up to the leader of the Mets to set the time of the game, and he’s decided to press ahead with it, so he must be confident about beating the Giants. Apparently they also need to score a touchdown in the 32nd end zone of the quarter (I think that’s right), and rarely do that.

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The other one. Oddly neither is pictured wearing a cowboy hat, must have been windy that day.

Still they both love Israel, and Israel are spoiling for a fight with Iran, which will pull Russia and America into a war and destroy the world, ironically making all those 2012 prophecies self-fulfilling. Israelis are fucking cannibals aren’t they? Sadly they were created by the British Empire, it set out to “civilise the world” and left the most unstable yet resource-rich area of the world saddled with the most uncivilised, barbaric, paranoid nation this side of, well, yankland. Which they are basically the 51st state of anyway.

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Still they’re not as bad as Zafira owners. One of them nearly fucking killed me today! Thinking it was okay to go 40mph, weaving gently from side to side, on the A14. Only a day after (and exactly across from) where somebody got killed in a crash which I didn’t witness, but which I have arbitrarily decided was caused by a witless, weaving, doddering old twat. Anyway, this one decided to pop up in front of the car in front of me, which before that had been racing down the slip road at 70mph. I left that to take care of itself and looked behind, spotting a lorry “just” far enough away to pull out in front of. I look back again and the doddery old cunt has forced the car in front of me to VIRTUALLY FUCKING STOP as it pulls out onto a 70mph road! There was seriously inches to spare between the three of us. The old git then wanders off in front of me at the next exit (with exactly three flashes of the broken indicator) and pootles up the slip road, rocking gently from side to side as his feeble consciousness wrestles with the choice of two lanes.

He actually went into the same Tesco as me, I thought about looking around for a cop car and hinting that he was drunk. Or, as he was no doubt a dozy old codger who constantly whinges about “the kids who know nothing about history”, stopping nearby and “accidentally” leaving my music blasting out as I got out. The music in question being from Showa 17-19, and fucking awesome. Japanese music peaked in 1944, seriously. I bought a whole set of CD’s of 30’s and 40’s music at the Yasukuni Shrine museum, funding it’s revisionist exhibits to the tune of over £100 (CD’s are bloody expensive there).

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TSUBASA, TSUBASA,

KANGAYAKU TSUBASA

TAAAADAKU HANBATAHOOO

TSUUUUUBASA YO RI!

Dubs At The Hall 2011

On Saturday I went to a car show called Dubs At The Hall, at Holt Hall in Norfolk. Unfortunately I missed the actual “car show” part as that was on Sunday, and I had something way cooler to do that day (pics tomorrow, hopefully). But there was still a few things to see, and the village of Holt itself was very nice.

But before that…

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Asahi Beer? Now I like superdry as much as the next vomiting salaryman on a train, but I’m pretty sure the last time I had it was, er, the last time I was in Japan!

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What’s the date on it? Eh? Today??

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What I’d actually bought. Fail.

Anyway after waking myself up I started off on the drive to Holt. Encountering around Ely bypass a black van with Ely Folk Festival advertised on it in chalk(!). The driver of the van thought that it was the correct procedure to slam the brakes on when exiting a roundabout, and to suddenly brake heavily, lurch around a corner and then indicate. I will not, of course, be going to Ely Folk Festival after a display like that.

Anyway, my planned route to Holt had been two roads, but my dad suggested a more “diagonal” route. Knowing my own amazing abilities to get lost even on straight roads I wasn’t expecting much, but amazingly I found my way to Holt ok! I’d not written any directions for where to go when I reached the village, because “the show’s bound to be signposted”.

NOT ONE SINGLE SIGN.

Well OK there was a banner advertising the show itself on a roundabout, which gave the dates, which was really fackin helpful. After a lot of circling about the lanes of the village…

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Which is very pretty

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No matter where I turned I kept ending up back here. It was like something from The Prisoner!

I finally, by PURE LUCK and a lot of turnings down winding residential streets that weren’t on maps, found my way to the show! After parking I walked into the show proper, through a nice path in a pretty forest.

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The sound of cover bands and aircooled fours lures me on!

 I was finally there. And discovered that it was in fact tiny. I was kind of expecting several large fields of row after row of custom bugs, Golfs and vans! Oh well. Let’s make the best of it.

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A rat Polo. There’s two kinds of “rat”, the proper kind – as in that evil Viva/Firenza in PPC several years back, and “Chav rat”, which is one rusty panel and a load of stickers. This car manages to be in the middle!

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Those were the various VW’s in the “show area”. However the show was actually stolen by a mighty Buick! It looked like the villain’s car from a comic!

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I took a turn around the rest of the interesting things at the show, and had some food. Then it was time to leave.

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The campsite and car park also had some interesting vehicles in them, I took pictures of a few as a substitute for the small showing at the, er, show!

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Why yes people were camping in the shed caravan!

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After leaving I decided to have a look around Holt itself. The village is beautiful! Very clean and well-maintained, it also has good roads, lots of parking and a load of small, non-chain shops. It was like stepping back in time 60 years! Except of course the people weren’t as well dressed and all the cars were modern ugly bloaters.

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Well, most of them.

I found a book shop that was full of crammed, haphazard rooms – just the way I like it! I went to the children’s section and got a few good ‘uns. I realised later that I ought to have looked for a crime section, and the attendant (maybe) Blakiana within. Oh well. I also got a 1984 Eagle Annual from another shop.

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The green book is by Charles Hamilton (aka Frank Richards) – the 20th century’s Shakespeare!

In all a pretty profitable trip :3

Who remembers these?

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They were a band and a half weren’t they?

 

Oh yeah I also got a cable to connect my new phone to the computer. So now I can present the new and correctly spelled (well actually I might have got the second character of Lord Haw Haw’s name wrong) sign that I’d put up if I ever end up running a pub in Japan:

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One who has a door behind him and is shown out of it.

Though of course I’m actually going to be a McEnglish McTeacher and then end up as a bland Salaryman. I’m under no illusions as to the spartan and difficult existence I’ll lead in a completely different country many thousands of miles away. But we can’t help who we fall in love with. And I’ll never ever have any truck with commie shitstabbers like Mr Potato Head and the day I do is the day I lose a game of chicken with the Yamanote Line.

Oh and of course I’ll still have a subscription to DC Thomson’s Commando comic, draw jingoistic British Adventure comics, drive elderly, noisy and unsafe cars and bring any children we may have up on a diet of Sexton Blake, Billy Bunter and Sapper. AND listen to Saxon because they’re wicked.

 

The cable also means I can spam a whole 3 pictures of my cat.

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Not amused.

 

I’ve got a busy weekend ahead. On Saturday it’s either Classic VW’s or Retro Drag Racing at Santa Pod. Either way there will be wicked pictures. On Sunday I’m going to be VIP guest of the Honda team at the British Superbikes. Like ya do.

 

Oh and I’m thinking of writing a 2011 version of “Glad to be gay” that laments the current state of Broken Britain , a land full of quotas and history months, that will contain the line “I can’t help but think that it’s… kind of our fault”.

Duck: It’s my biiiiiiirthday!

Well actually it was Yesterday. But today at work we had a big cake for a contrived reason. My actual birthday provision for the break room was popcorn XD.

Anyway, I got a new phone.

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It’s one of them

I’d now show you pictures of my cat that have been taken with it, but the memory card in it doesn’t work in a PC without being formatted, and it didn’t come with a USB cable that will fit either.

I also got a Lego motorbike

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It’s one of them

That was my brothers idea.

Also at work a few days ago a woman showed up to do some temporary research practice, except when she arrived nobody knew she was coming and the bloke she’d been told would show her around was in Australia. Anyway today she apparently rang up and said she was refusing to work in such a disorganised place… and people were complaining about it! I thought it was perfectly reasonable.

Honestly, I can’t wait for the supercomputers to take over and institute the dystopian machine order.

RWB to be relaunched, and Slutwalk!

The other day I decided to email IPC, who own the copyright of the famous old detective character Sexton Blake, and try and get permission to use him in my own comic The Red, White & Blue. Well I have already created 4 issues of it (plus one of The Trident). Anyway, they said no!

They also said that “a certain American comic company” (not sure if I can reveal this or not)  have “exclusive print rights”. Which may possibly explain the seemingly indefinite delay to the next Snowbooks compilation. However it’s also extremely worrying as, given the type of commie shitstabbers that work in comics these days, they’ll probably start doing a comic about him where he uncovers conspiracies in the British government and fights to bring down the empire and all the usual Crisis shit.

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Any excuse to re-use this.

Having been half-expecting a rejection (and also having been considering removing Sexton Blake anyway for a while) I have decided to re-launch the Red, White & Blue (and of course The Trident and Dragonfly) in a de-blakenised version. Originally I planned to just change the names but keep the character the same, and even have him stop ageing and living in many different time periods (as Sexton Blake apparently did XD).

But instead I decided to just create different characters for each time. For instance an Agatha Christie style character for the 20’s, a “Gene Hunt” for the 70’s and a “Spooks” style secret agent for modern times. I’ll also ditch the crap logo that adorned the first two issues of the Red, White & Blue, give it an editor’s page from the start and re-do the Sexton Blake article to an overview of British adventure comics as a whole.I still want the RWB to be bi-monthly (I may even succeed now that I have 4 issues “in hand”, kinda). Issue 9 is intended to be a Christmas special, as one of the serial stories is planned to end then with a Christmas scene. So the new Issue 1 will be on sale in the July-August period this year, on the internet! Mind you my emigration is also pencilled in for around then so printing and posting might get erratic, but we can put that down to it being a new publication XD

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Issues 3 and 4 will actually look almost identical when reprinted.

With regards to the Trident, as well as un-Blakeing it I’m going to increase it’s size to A4, give the main story (now about a Bulldog Drummond type secret agent in WW1 called Norman Saxon XD) illustrations and also include a short complete story and two serials! All in 3 columns of tiny text.

What am I going to do with the stock of the old issues? Well recycle them, obviously. Of course ‘packs’ of copies may possibly find their way into the hands of unscrupulous attendees of, say, the Saturday of the next MCM convention at the Excel Centre later this month. But I trust that those people, having obtained the comics from me for nothing after asking about my T-shirt saying “ask me for free comics”, will throw them in a recycling bin.

In other news, some cop in Canada told a bunch of women to “not dress like sluts” if they don’t want to be raped. His ill-chosen words have caused a worldwide backfire in the form of protest marches called “slutwalks”, which I will of course be wholeheartedly supporting. Mainly the London one on the fourth of June.

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Pictured: An overdressed lady

It’s about time somebody stood up against the prudish elements on the right, who’s idiocy is well-documented, as well as those on the left who are always the first to post “yay dignity” and a rolleyes smiley on the Download festival forums whenever “boob cam” is mentioned. These scum, usually students, are clearly going to turn into prudish Express readers once they graduate anyway… it’s always amusing when the topic of casual sex and scanty dress is bought up. These so-called supporters of equality can’t help but let the mask slip!

Isn’t blaming the victim of a crime socialist anyway? “A bit of redistribution of wealth in the here and now” I seem to recall was a justification for mugging “rich people who move into working class areas” on some punk song back in my commie shitstabbing days.

Any Briton worthy of the name ought to be supporting the slutwalks, there are those in our society who complain that they “don’t want to see” short skirts and such attire as it “looks like an invitation”. Anybody who talks like that shouldn’t even be allowed out, as they are seemingly only just able to keep their rampant savagery in check. It reminds me of the sick scum who claim that “without religion as guidance people will do whatever they want”. Maybe you would commit random rapes and murders if you didn’t have the bible telling you not to, but please don’t project your character flaws onto the rest of us.

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Atheio-nationalists, advance!

The wedding and that

Back at the start of the year, I had intended to spend the duration of the royal wedding with this inside me:

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The folder his pics are in is still not his name. It’s just labelled “Hot Icelandic dude”

But because I didn’t get issue 4 of my comic finished in time I self-punished myself and didn’t go. Also we’d not talked for months or arranged anything proper either XD.

Soo instead I just printed 25 copies of the now-finished issue 4 and then, er, put them in a box under the bed where they will probably stay, as there’s no way of selling them.

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6 pieces of paper folds into 12 sheets with print on both sides = 24 pages!

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And there we are.

Being a jingoistic little-Englander I did of course also watch and enjoy the wedding. Shame I missed the drive to the church. Mind you though, we may have gained a new possible future queen, but by the time either of them gets the chance to sit on the throne I do of course hope to be a subject of Emperor Heisei instead.

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Here’s a clue if you don’t know who that is.

Also this really hot girl shows up on Southern Charms photo sets, but is not a “charm” herself. Anyway today one of them posted a link to her twitter, where she mentioned the fact that there has been a “porn wikileaks” which revals many thousands of porn stars’ real names and HIV status.

Now personally if I was a porn star I wouldn’t give a shit about people knowing my real name or HIV status. But then again I wouldn’t see it as shameful because I’m genetically superior. And also because at night I’d lead a black-shirted paramilitary group that would patrol dodgy parks looking for queer-bashers who would then be dragged to a secluded area and forced to inhale poisonous gas.

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Victory, Victory, VICTORY! / Onwards we march ’til victory be won / Victory, Victory, VICTORY! / Any means shall justify the ends!