Who I once was

We had a family lockup, but with impending financial trouble have emptied it to sell / use stuff, and save money on renting it. Unfortunately we lost the key for one of the cabinets, and have turned the place upside down looking for it. I didn’t find it on top of my wardrobe, but I did find most of my old college work, and the doodles I’d done on it. There’s actually surprisingly few doodles – don’t tell me I was actually paying attention!

Anyway, I thought I’d scan in the most amusing doodles and upload them to Facebook, but as facebook shrinks them, I’ll also put them on here. As you can see, I was an anarchist at the time, and wrote a lot of hilariously embarrassing political messages. College was a pretty traumatic time for me. Mainly because the one I went to was full of GCSE-failing chavs who were doing either bricklaying or leisure and tourism, and mainly because it was 2001 and people were scummy then. But also it was because I had all these ultra-leftist beliefs, which would today be labelled “SJW”. My pronouncements on the evils of capitalism and the tories alienated most of my friends, or potential friends. I was also pretty shy and looked ridiculous (even more so than now XD).

Strangely, while I was often talking about overthrowing the government, calling people sexist for saying girls were sexy, and glorifying the antics of 80’s leftist protesters who kicked Nicky Crane’s head in (I didn’t know what happened to him afterwards, the only thing I’d heard about him came from a pirated Oi Polloi mp3), I never made a peep about gay rights, and only ever told a couple of people I was bi. So we can add cowardice to my many failings.

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The CRUNCH is here!

…was the occasional title of a British comic, but I couldn’t google image search a picture of it when it was using that title. Though I did get sidetracked by a blog where a guy was complaining about The Beano being 85p. 85p, eh?

Anyway, the CRUNCH the post refers to is actually the one in my life. My mum’s work is relocating to near London, and she, as the only ‘breadwinner’ of the family (my dad stays at home to look after granny now) will have to go with them. That means that my intention of moving out as soon as possible now has a solid deadline. They’re going to have to get a much smaller house, being closer to London, so there won’t be room for much else after all the arrangements for granny to get about. 

Ah well, I think it’s about time I got out of the family home, I am nearly 30 for fuck’s sake. Don’t want to get a reputation as a “shut in” XD.

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I merely want to be in a shut-in

The first step is to get a better-paying job, for real this time XD. Got me eye on one at the moment, going to work on the application for that over this week. I’m actually kind of over-qualified for it, but having gone to university gives me some of the required experience for it (as it’s in a university XD). It also pays pretty bloody well.

Other steps are going to include selling the Mini, selling or giving away many books, and no more holidays or festivals. My probable final “lavish” purchase of a volume of bound comics is currently on it’s way.

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T_T Always hoped I’d drive this once more

I’m giving myself until August to get a better-paying job (and/or long-term relationship with somebody who I can share rent with… hah), and if I can’t find one here by then, I’ll say “sod it” and go ALT’ing. Though if I do go, it will probably have to be forever, which will mean getting citizenship and all that ‘fun’ stuff I’d been thinking about when I was still with Yasue.

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This again!

Honesty and Transparency: To avoid any chance of damaging my chances of getting a better paying job, I’ve censored all the posts I made ranting about my work. BUT I had a pretty shitty day today, so pictures of dangerous / wasteful / stupid things will continue to build up in private posts. If anybody whistleblows something really dangerous at my workplace, I’ll take that as ‘permission’ to unleash them again, but for now they’re only visible to logged-in trolls XD.

Three Saturdays

Not updated this again for ages. Dum de dum. Things have been ticking over, issue 2 of my comic (supposed to be cover dated March – April) is still not finished, but ought to be tomorrow. Only the editor’s page and a map to do!

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EXTERMINATE!

Also Doctor Who is back on, but I missed the start of the episode just gone >.<, I notice it appeared to show a prosperous India of the future, with it’s own space programme. I notice that this prosperous India of the future was still full of ethnically Indian people, though. I remember some “leaked episode synopsis” that was doing the rounds before the last series, which suggested there would be an episode set in Japan in the 2170’s. I bet if the BBC had actually made that, the Japan of the 2170’s would still be populated entirely by ethnically Japanese people.

Of course, in my own comics, scenes set on the future Earth will have, say, a mostly black guy (‘pure’ races will be rare hundreds of years in the future) named Vladimir Rodriguez, who comes from Tokyo and mainly speaks Japanese. Just to ridicule this “mah effnic origin” disease that the yanks are into, which is infecting Britain at an alarming rate.

But enough of that. Two saturdays ago (or 1 week BDW) we had a huge storm. There wasn’t much visible lightning, but the thunder was just a constant rumble, it sounded like when you are videoing something and the wind blows against the microphone. I did capture a bit of footage, some of the thunder and some of the rain.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wj_DpbIINUQ

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HXJEKD_oetc

There had also been hail before that, I got a few photo of that after it had finished.

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There was also cool-looking clouds and sewage coming out of the drains, which somebody drove through really fast with their window down slightly, lawl.

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Anyway, on the second of these saturdays, I trolled into Cambridge to see my friend Asha. Except (as usual) she took forever to get ready (it was literally like all day). So Instead I wandered around Charity shops killing time. So, lets just turn this into a haul post!

The best thing I got was this:

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Grummock yer parts…

It’s a tape of Round the Horne , the greatest radio comedy ever! It’s where Julian and Sandy, who I’ve just noticed I never posted about (to my shame, got a CD of them ages ago), come from. Anyway, it evolved out of another show called Beyond our Ken (the host of both was Kenneth Horne), but was a lot funnier.

Anyway, this box contains 2 tapes, which are supposed to be the third set of four episodes. But one of them is actually from the tenth set, but as the show had got into it’s stride then I won’t complain! Anyway, aside from Julian and Sandy (polari-speaking queens who did a different, innuendo-laced, job each week)

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‘Evvy Metal

I also got this, for the amazing price of 10p. It’s an old demo tape by a band called Jackal, probably from some time in the 80’s, or maybe early 90’s. The paper insert appears to have been produced on a photocopier, and the red has been hand-coloured. An (admittedly vague) search of the internet has failed to turn up any reference to a metal band called Jackal, so I assume they are long since defunct. Shame, the music is actually pretty damn good (in fact, better than some early thrash which was signed by big labels – like old Testament – which all sounds like it’s recorded in an echoing empty room).

Also, I have been looking at Danny Choo, and his other site called Figure FM, recently. A lot of people were posting pictures of their “otaku rooms”, awash with manga, anime DVD’s and figures. I wanted to tart up my own otaku room a bit, though of course I am an otaku by the Japanese definition and not the foreign one XD. I needed some models to display – no, not anime figures! I’m an otaku for old British culture, and that means…

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Airfix!

I’d seen this set advertised in Commando a few times. You get two planes and a display stand for yer money. I got that one because “jet planes are easier, they’re just pipes with wings on” and also having an Argentine plane would be a bit “weird”. I presume the standard Douglas Skyhawk kit Airfix make comes with 1960’s US Air Force decals. I’ve not started to make this yet, though. As it will be displayed I want to get it right, so got a ‘simpler’ kit to ‘practice’ with. Of course I made tons of these as a kid (I also did a bunch of cheap foreign kits which never got painted, bright green ME109 ahoy!), but I usually just slapped on single coats of paint, glued on the decals (paper and all) and then they got broken and chucked out XD.

Oh yeah, the display cabinet itself, well I got that (along with some other bits) a few weeks ago when I went to Ikea. It’s a Detolf cabinet, which nearly all the otaku rooms on Danny Choo have XD. I have stuffed it with various odds and ends at the moment, but they’ll be gradually replaced by Airfix planes and ships (got my eye on a huge Golden Hind, but that will be tough to build), Gundams and a few (and I mean a few, possibly two XD) anime figures XD.

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The full thing. All that crap next to it is a stack of Roy of the Rovers which desperately needs gaps filling, putting in order and binding into 6-monthly books. Anybody got a spare grand?

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Some Lego stuff, including the Lego Felney characters, from when I had a regular webcomic (ha!) and the scanner broke. Also some limited edition Corgi Minis, a limited edition Lotus F1 model (now very battered and with sun-faded stickers) and some other bits.

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A Download Festival programme, a Star Wars toy, more lego (“FW Devil 1” is a ship of my own creation called a Slasher), some Judge Dredd cards that the Megazine gave away, my Camcon wristband and some bijou statuettes.

And so on to today. Today was the second day of “Open Cambridge”, an event I also went to in 2010. Basically various colleges open up certain seldom-seen parts to the public for free. Lots of guided tripettes also take place around the city, but those were all fully booked months ago. Anyway I made a list of small libraries in colleges that I wanted to see and trolled around, only to find that this year’s Open Cambridge had a slight difference, namely, it was shut! Still I did go to the Whipple Museum (which is open to the public all the time anyway) and to the Sporting Christ’s exhibition, in one of the libraries there (which, it turned out, is a separate exhibition running for the duration of the Olympics and a good month and a half either side to boot XD).

Buut before that, I went into Ely and got a simpler Airfix kit, from the “City Cycle Centre”, an independent toy and hobby shop (with a side of DIY and, of course, cycling). I used to go in there a lot as a kid, but then we called it Zaskies, for some reason. It used to sell these wicked cap guns that looked almost like real rifles and shotguns, you wouldn’t see that these days! Anyway, up the stairs and round the corner used to be the Airfix (well and Revell, Tamiya and so on), Warhammer and Hornby department. These were all still in roughly the places I remember, but are now bigger(!) than they were when I was a kid. The back wall has also been knocked through and a load of other rooms (perhaps store rooms or other shops before) have now been incorporated into the main shop. Anyway, which simpler kit did I buy just to get my eye in? Which do you think?

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Can’t beat the classics!

… Mind you, if they’d had a Red Arrow I probably would have got that XD. It was £8, though the same sorts of kits in Model Zone (where I got that Falklands set) are only £5.99, you have to support these independent shops or they’ll disappear!

After that I trolled off to Cambridge, to be disappointed XD. Still I couldn’t resist the Haunted Bookshop, and bought a hardback, cloth-bound prospectus for a girl’s boarding school. Like you do. There’s an inscription dated 1943 in it, but I should think the book itself is older, from before rationing, because the paper is lovely, thick and glossy. It has a great many photos, which will be useful reference material for illustrations in my own boarding school story, Xin Zhou’s Schooldays – the first chapters of which will appear in the Red, White & Blue issue 2, erm, eventually!

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Visit St Petersberg? I’d rather go to Peterborough

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Did you hear the one about the Russian politician who wouldn’t take a bribe?

Me neither.

 

Did you hear the one about the Russian who got a fair trial?

Me neither.

 

Did you hear the one about the Russian cop who turned up to work sober?

Me neither.

 

Why do Ladas have the engine in the back?

More room at the front for the bodies.

 

Did you hear the one about freedom of speech in Russia?

███████████████████████████████████████████

 

Did you hear the one about the 20,000 murdered Chechens?

No, I only get Russian TV.

 

Did you hear the one about how much Russia has changed since 1916?

Me neither.

 

What did the Russian sailor say when he saw unarmed British fishing boats?

“Battle stations”

 

Did you hear the one the Russian sailor told when he saw the Japanese navy?

The punchline was a washout.

 

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Banzai!

 

What did the Russian soldier say when he saw the Japanese army?

They don’t have eyes in the back of their heads.

 

Did you hear the one about the Tchaikovsky performance in his hometown?

They used canister.

 

In America you march on gay pride. In Russia gay pride gets marched on!

Re-arrangin’

At about 5:50 on Saturday I decided to have a re-arrange of my room (mainly to put the bed nearer the heater XD). I thought it’d take “two or three hours”. I finished at about 7:00 tonight.

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Lets get goin’

Actually that picture is from the middle of the re-arrange, the dark brown shelf was on top of a cupboard and the bed was where it is. Also the books on it were where the bed now is XD. However this is before most of the other books in that picture had been moved. That was a rather, erm, chaotic process…

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I also made more room for things by increasing the gaps on the shelves, so more big books could fit in them the right way up rather than on their sides. I also chucked away about 100 old PC and Playstation demo CD’s full of games such as Z: Steel Soldiers and Colin McRae Rally ’98. I chucked them away from an upstairs window into a skip full of broken paving slabs, that was fun.

Oh I also found a button with yaoi on it.

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Eh?

Anyway now the collection is all nice and fancily arranged and even, believe it or not, in some sort of order! Plus there’s empty space to fill with even more rubbish.

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Oh and my desk now has empty space on it, fancy.

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What am I going to do with all this?

Why yes,

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I was reading yaoi at work

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And I don’t even care, man.

Mind you though it wasn’t very pornographic yaoi. The “Explicit Content” label was writing cheques that the story couldn’t cash. You don’t even see it going in or anything!

Still it’s better than a “hot” yaoi comic I got from another stall at the same convention (run by a hilarious Yank/Cank, youtube “Yaoi Guy”), that one didn’t even have kissing! And it cost me like £25. Next time (October) I’ll make sure to check da moichendoise.

Who remembers these?

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They were a band and a half weren’t they?

 

Oh yeah I also got a cable to connect my new phone to the computer. So now I can present the new and correctly spelled (well actually I might have got the second character of Lord Haw Haw’s name wrong) sign that I’d put up if I ever end up running a pub in Japan:

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One who has a door behind him and is shown out of it.

Though of course I’m actually going to be a McEnglish McTeacher and then end up as a bland Salaryman. I’m under no illusions as to the spartan and difficult existence I’ll lead in a completely different country many thousands of miles away. But we can’t help who we fall in love with. And I’ll never ever have any truck with commie shitstabbers like Mr Potato Head and the day I do is the day I lose a game of chicken with the Yamanote Line.

Oh and of course I’ll still have a subscription to DC Thomson’s Commando comic, draw jingoistic British Adventure comics, drive elderly, noisy and unsafe cars and bring any children we may have up on a diet of Sexton Blake, Billy Bunter and Sapper. AND listen to Saxon because they’re wicked.

 

The cable also means I can spam a whole 3 pictures of my cat.

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Not amused.

 

I’ve got a busy weekend ahead. On Saturday it’s either Classic VW’s or Retro Drag Racing at Santa Pod. Either way there will be wicked pictures. On Sunday I’m going to be VIP guest of the Honda team at the British Superbikes. Like ya do.

 

Oh and I’m thinking of writing a 2011 version of “Glad to be gay” that laments the current state of Broken Britain , a land full of quotas and history months, that will contain the line “I can’t help but think that it’s… kind of our fault”.