The Belgium attacks

Shortly after the Paris attacks last year, everybody on Facebook is changing thier profile pictures to French flags, when these virals start going around about atrocities that happened in other countries at the same time.

The same thing is happening in the wake of the Belgian attacks, but the virals are conspicuously absent. I really doubt the rest of the world was atrocity-free, that day, so why the lack of messages insisting we don’t just comemmorate the western victims?

It wouldn’t be anything to do with a certain magazine, which continues to be unrepentantly published in France, would it?

 

Oh, and, after the inevitable British attack, how many hours will it be before the Guardian article claiming we need a new flag, and not “this aggressive, jagged explosion”? 6 is not a low guess.

 

I’m done with Doctor Who.

Because what the FUCK is this SHIT?

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I was also interested, on my other blog, to note that India will apparently be more monoracial in 300 years time. Imagine if they showed a similar scene in the Britain of 2314, with all white characters?

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And what’s this in the next issue? “The Weeping Angels of Mons”. Note they are going to end up in “the trenches”. The trenches, as in those things that hadn’t been dug at the time of the retreat from Mons?

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Never mind, eh? No doubt the whole point of the story is to say “the right things” about class war (class war from the perspective of yanks, anyway. Or maybe Brits who wish they were yanks, which is even worse). You can see the heartless generals ordering working class men into No-man’s Land at gunpoint already, can’t you? Never mind that they were actually being led into battle by junior officers, most from exactly the same educated, privileged background as those generals, and an order of maginitude more likely to be killed. As they were supposed to be “leading by example”, and snipers always went for officers. To say nothing of the fact that several of those junior officers, leading their men to doom, may have been the nephews or sons of the generals planning the attack… or even that 22 generals themselves died in pointless charges, over the course of the war (no doubt trying to prove that their amazing “run towards the enemy’s machine guns” tactics will work, this time).

Still, we all know what “amazing, shocking revelation” is coming up on the TV show. I suspect a lot of people are planning to bail, at that point. I might as well just git while the gittin’s gud. It’s made for San Francisco hipsters, now, anyway. It’s no longer for the likes of us. The £40-a-year-licence, stripped-to-bare-bones BBC can’t come soon enough, if you ask me.

EDIT: I had a peek at the next issue in the shop. Yeah, tin helmets and trenches before Archduke Ferdinand’s body was even cold. Top research, there.

The whole Scotland thing

Is well and truly over, by the time I remember I started this entry. Anyway, I aligned myself with the Queen and thought “It’s for them to decide”. Anyway, ages ago I wanted to start a magazine defending British comics called The Sentinel, and wrote a half-joking article about what might happen to British comics if Scotland went independent. So let’s just bung that in here.

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The Sentinel Wonders: What could Scottish independence mean for British comics?

Just what might happen to the output of DC Thomson when England finally gains independence from Scotland? (are you sure that’s right? -ed). There’s a possibility that we in England could see a price increase as products from north of the border will become subject to import taxes. However it’s also possible that The Beano, The Dandy and Commando (no doubt suddenly featuring many more stories of the various Scottish rebellions down the centuries) could see sales increases. DC Thomson may be able to capture the patriotic, forward-looking mood of a newly-independent nation by clearly branding their products as “Made in Scotland”. With big sales increases could also come a reduction in prices as the economies of scale shift. It’s also likely that the comics would be better-displayed in Scottish shops and so attract even more customers. There could be a knock-on effect down south as well. With a realisation that the “splitters” up North are boosting their economy and getting people into work as artists, writers and printers it’s possible that London-based publishers may decide to get back into the game. Could we see a return of Buster and The Eagle as England-based competition? Could other England-based comics such as The Pheonix become more popular as a response to Scotland breaking away? Scottish Independence could end up becoming the shot in the arm that comics produced on these islands desperately need. If there’s one thing that’s certain, it’s that I need to marry a Scot!

The Hong Kong “Umbrella Revolution”

May soon also be known as the “chalk revolution”, thanks to a trend of people writing messages down the roads they are camped out on. No doubt we’ll soon be seeing an Upworthy of “the most inspiring” messages. Right next to a load of “This one video will make any man who watches it a feminist” TED Talk things. (What the fuck is TED, anyway? And where did it spring from, all of a sudden?).

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These have all been renamed, shrunk and had ‘variants’ added. To make it more difficult to track them back

Anyway, one of the first people to do some of the chalking was somebody I know, who I once went cocktail drinkin’ with back in 2011 or so.

As this is the first “Occupy” protest I actually support (and the first one with a clear aim, unlike the politics-of-envy “We’ll stay here until you make things better!” childish rentamobs, seen elsewhere), I’ve added the golden ribbon to my Facebook and, er, been cranking a pirated Beyond live CD?

Oh, and…

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Who I once was

We had a family lockup, but with impending financial trouble have emptied it to sell / use stuff, and save money on renting it. Unfortunately we lost the key for one of the cabinets, and have turned the place upside down looking for it. I didn’t find it on top of my wardrobe, but I did find most of my old college work, and the doodles I’d done on it. There’s actually surprisingly few doodles – don’t tell me I was actually paying attention!

Anyway, I thought I’d scan in the most amusing doodles and upload them to Facebook, but as facebook shrinks them, I’ll also put them on here. As you can see, I was an anarchist at the time, and wrote a lot of hilariously embarrassing political messages. College was a pretty traumatic time for me. Mainly because the one I went to was full of GCSE-failing chavs who were doing either bricklaying or leisure and tourism, and mainly because it was 2001 and people were scummy then. But also it was because I had all these ultra-leftist beliefs, which would today be labelled “SJW”. My pronouncements on the evils of capitalism and the tories alienated most of my friends, or potential friends. I was also pretty shy and looked ridiculous (even more so than now XD).

Strangely, while I was often talking about overthrowing the government, calling people sexist for saying girls were sexy, and glorifying the antics of 80’s leftist protesters who kicked Nicky Crane’s head in (I didn’t know what happened to him afterwards, the only thing I’d heard about him came from a pirated Oi Polloi mp3), I never made a peep about gay rights, and only ever told a couple of people I was bi. So we can add cowardice to my many failings.

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once07 – once08 – once09

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Die, hideous creature, die!

Protip: If you are going to complain about old Doctor Who comic strips featuring the Doctor resorting to violence to solve things…

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make sure you don’t do it in a comic in which he recruits a couple of Ice Warriors to help him build an army to lead a mutiny on a slave ship…

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…and then brush off his companion’s concerns about them being left to roam the galaxy in a captured warship.

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Mind you, is that line so “notorious”? Given the rarity and expense of Doctor Who-containing issues of TV Comic, I’d be willing to bet that article is the first time many whovians have even heard of it. Is that article, in fact, an attempt to give the previously-highly-obscure line it’s notoriety, and thus another attempt by the chattering classes to discredit and undermine traditional British adventure comics? To persuade modern comic fans that they are not even worth bothering with?

Such attitudes, rife in the pages of 2000AD and the Megazine, very nearly infected me. Luckily somebody was able to sneak an article about Sexton Blake in, which turned me onto my current path. How long will it be before the original (and by far best) Dan Dare begins to be offhandedly dismissed in this manner? The Billy Bunter stories are already branded “elitist”, “classist”, “racist” and many other things which it is difficult to find any evidence of if you actually read them.

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Apparently there’s some big event going on in yankland at the moment. I think it’s the superbowl, or something. It must be, the BBC aren’t fucking shutting up about it. They care more about the superbowl than the FA cup final, wandering around interviewing people having barbecues outside it and talking about how that’s really healing the disconnects of the American dream after 9/11.

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One of the pigshit-thick, gun-waving cheeseburger chuggers.

Anyway, I think it’s between the Mets and the Giants, whoever they are. Mind you, New York, home of the Mets, recently got smashed up by the kamikaze as payback for all the yanks saying the tsunami in Japan was payback for Pearl Harbour a year and a half ago. Mind you, I suppose it’s up to the leader of the Mets to set the time of the game, and he’s decided to press ahead with it, so he must be confident about beating the Giants. Apparently they also need to score a touchdown in the 32nd end zone of the quarter (I think that’s right), and rarely do that.

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The other one. Oddly neither is pictured wearing a cowboy hat, must have been windy that day.

Still they both love Israel, and Israel are spoiling for a fight with Iran, which will pull Russia and America into a war and destroy the world, ironically making all those 2012 prophecies self-fulfilling. Israelis are fucking cannibals aren’t they? Sadly they were created by the British Empire, it set out to “civilise the world” and left the most unstable yet resource-rich area of the world saddled with the most uncivilised, barbaric, paranoid nation this side of, well, yankland. Which they are basically the 51st state of anyway.

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Still they’re not as bad as Zafira owners. One of them nearly fucking killed me today! Thinking it was okay to go 40mph, weaving gently from side to side, on the A14. Only a day after (and exactly across from) where somebody got killed in a crash which I didn’t witness, but which I have arbitrarily decided was caused by a witless, weaving, doddering old twat. Anyway, this one decided to pop up in front of the car in front of me, which before that had been racing down the slip road at 70mph. I left that to take care of itself and looked behind, spotting a lorry “just” far enough away to pull out in front of. I look back again and the doddery old cunt has forced the car in front of me to VIRTUALLY FUCKING STOP as it pulls out onto a 70mph road! There was seriously inches to spare between the three of us. The old git then wanders off in front of me at the next exit (with exactly three flashes of the broken indicator) and pootles up the slip road, rocking gently from side to side as his feeble consciousness wrestles with the choice of two lanes.

He actually went into the same Tesco as me, I thought about looking around for a cop car and hinting that he was drunk. Or, as he was no doubt a dozy old codger who constantly whinges about “the kids who know nothing about history”, stopping nearby and “accidentally” leaving my music blasting out as I got out. The music in question being from Showa 17-19, and fucking awesome. Japanese music peaked in 1944, seriously. I bought a whole set of CD’s of 30’s and 40’s music at the Yasukuni Shrine museum, funding it’s revisionist exhibits to the tune of over £100 (CD’s are bloody expensive there).

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TSUBASA, TSUBASA,

KANGAYAKU TSUBASA

TAAAADAKU HANBATAHOOO

TSUUUUUBASA YO RI!

Essex Lion

New sighting:

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Admittedly this ought to have been posted well over a month ago. Remember that Labour MP who was pulled up for saying “white people love playing divide and conquer” and got caught? (Fuck off back to yankland, we don’t want their racial-chip-on-the-shoulder disease here) I made a “racist and sexist list of sexual conquests” list in response to it, which would have been hilarious at the time.

The Olympics are great, aren’t they?

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He’s already got the knighthood, what the hell are we going to give him now?

It’s brilliant when the Olympics are on, especially when they are “at home”. Every radio, TV and computer you pass has some event playing on it. You can linger and discuss the chances of teams. It’s always a conversation starter, “did you see the tennis final?” and so on. It really brings people of all nations together, especially in a cosmopolitan place like my work, and Cambridge in general. People talking about the respective merits of their country’s athletes, and what sports their country is strong at (Ethiopians for distance running, tier “high altitude training” is their lives XD).

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It’s also a chance for more obscure sports to shine. Back in the good old days you had Grandstand on TV every week, showing the highlights from all kinds of sports – equestrian, shooting, diving, swimming… These days if you want to see them you have to pay for satellite and watch obscure channels, or else wait for the Olympics! At least in the Olympics the very best athletes are competing, sports you normally don’t give a crap about, like Basketball, become must-see events with nailbiting knockout rounds. It’s like the World or European cup on an immeasurably bigger scale, and for people who don’t like football, too!

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Of course, the Olympics do have their detractors – the fucking reds. It’s hilariously ironic that this great event, which gets everybody talking about the same subject, causes people to walk with a spring in their step and which sparks off friendly conversations between people of all different nationalities is anathema to the Marx-lovers. They are always banging on about “uniting the people”, yet when something actually does all they can do is complain about “flag waving”, lament all the speed cameras and wet hostels the money could have been spent on, and start calling sport “simulated war”. They are out of touch, their ideology is a discredited anachronism. They have no answers.

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I’ve not watched the opening ceremony yet, but by all accounts it was brilliant. Sensible people said it was brilliant, and reds said that it was a farce, a waste of money and that the tribute to the NHS was pathetic. One red of my acquaintance even went as far as saying that, instead of the NHS, they should have used something that “the British people are proud of”. Hilariously out of touch. A yank red then went on to say that a tribute to the NHS implied that Britain was the only country with ‘socialized medicare’. Hilariously out of touch. With recommendations like that, I can’t wait to iplayer it… as soon as I’ve finished backlogged blog entries, comic-making and sorting out my comic/book/horror film collection (again! more on that when it’s done).

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Oh yeah, I still have plenty of actual sport to iplayer too. I watched the women’s 56kg weightlifting, and very good it was too. The German competitor was hilarious, she screamed as she lifted, then people started screaming back, so she played up to it XD. She couldn’t manage to lift her heaviest weight either, but took defeat in good grace. Oh and of course our own Zoe Smith set a new British record at only 18, one to watch in 2016! The other day I was lifting 25kg bags of dishwasher salt one at a time, staggering about with them, feeling like my arms were being ripped out. Puts things in perspective! I also started watching the lighter weight women’s weightlifting, because the eventual winner looked cwute. I also want to watch the women’s 10m air rifle, the first event for which a medal was awarded. And after that, I’ll catch up on the events of day 2… XD. I hope the BBC keeps their catchups online for a long time, or else releases a DVD box set.

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One thing I wondered, though, is where the hell Rugby is? And Cricket… though there is an international competition going on at the moment. Mind you though, if you had Rugby you could make a case for American Football, which only the cheeseburger chuggers give a shit about, so they’d win it all the time. And if you had cricket, why not baseball, which only the cheeseburger chuggers and, er, sushi snackers(?) give a shit about, so they’d win it all the time.

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But didn’t Olympics used to have “exhibition sports”? One ‘unique’ to the host country that other nationalities were welcomed to try? Surely for Britain Rugby or Cricket would have been ideal! Or, if not those, how about a knockout tournament of rowing eights on the Oxford / Cambridge course? I can understand them having the ‘proper’ races on a ‘fairer’ rectangular lake, but ‘not serious’ races on the Thames would give millions upon millions of people a chance to watch at least one event for free (the course goes for bloody miles). And of course how more “London” can you get than constant racing on the Thames for the duration of the games? Terrible missed opportunity, that.