The Sawtry sex shop

For ages now, I’ve wanted to write an angry blog post calling for the opponents of the Pulse & Cocktails sex toy shop “in” Sawtry to: FUCK OFF BACK TO THE UKRAINE, YOU SUB-BORN UNDER SAVAGES. BUT, I then saw this article about it on the local paper’s website. Note the lack of one single comment in support of the protesters!


And page 2:


And page 3:


Well done Cambridgeshire, you have genuinely surprised me! And I may just have to take a run over there myself. I wonder if they have a DVD of that one where this guy cums on Lil’ Miss Kitty’s face then his secretary licks it off?

I almost wish a sex shop would apply for permission to open up in my village. I’d immediately set up a petition in favour of it and see how many names I could get!

Ely Funfair

On the day I went to the May MCM Expo, I took a wee detour into Ely first, so I could photograph the funfair. Notice how it is taking up a good half of one of Ely’s central car parks:


It was early in the morning, so it wasn’t open

Well that’s so far, so fucked up. The funfair used to be in a much more sensible location, a nice piece of barely-used grassy field ‘behind’ the main shopping street (as far as Ely has such a thing, anyway):



Unfortunately, that ideal piece of funfair land is next door to this:


That place that had no objection to an apple festival being held next door once

So of course, Darwin-defying dribblescum complained that having the funfair on that piece of green was “insulting”, and forced it to move to one of the car parks – of which there is far from enough in the centre of Ely anyway. There is a pay car park on the outskirts, with a bus that runs into the town – which is an ideal solution in Cambridge. But Ely is, well, only Ely. I only ever go there for the dentist, or on the odd occasion when Cambridge will be too painful to travel to (IE, when Strawberry Fair is on) and I want me Commando comics.

Of course, trying to park in the centre of Ely past about 11 in the morning is a pointless, polluting procession around the centre – followed by giving up and going to Cambridge anyway. Driving 25-odd unnecessary miles and adding a few more degrees to the global temperature.

The ideal solution would be to build a multi-storey car park in the middle of the city (yes it is!), but this newspaper cutting I intended to upload to my website when I relaunched it in 2005 or so says:


Possibly when our white elephant scheme has proven successful we might maybe consider doing something sensible.

And I doubt those regulations have changed since. Mind you, the public transport situation from the villages has actually got far worse! Small wonder, the “hopper bus” is not going to recoup it’s costs until the city centre is attractive enough for people to want to spend a day out there.

Visit St Petersberg? I’d rather go to Peterborough


Did you hear the one about the Russian politician who wouldn’t take a bribe?

Me neither.


Did you hear the one about the Russian who got a fair trial?

Me neither.


Did you hear the one about the Russian cop who turned up to work sober?

Me neither.


Why do Ladas have the engine in the back?

More room at the front for the bodies.


Did you hear the one about freedom of speech in Russia?



Did you hear the one about the 20,000 murdered Chechens?

No, I only get Russian TV.


Did you hear the one about how much Russia has changed since 1916?

Me neither.


What did the Russian sailor say when he saw unarmed British fishing boats?

“Battle stations”


Did you hear the one the Russian sailor told when he saw the Japanese navy?

The punchline was a washout.





What did the Russian soldier say when he saw the Japanese army?

They don’t have eyes in the back of their heads.


Did you hear the one about the Tchaikovsky performance in his hometown?

They used canister.


In America you march on gay pride. In Russia gay pride gets marched on!


Oh yeah there was some rioting “recently” and there’s been a huge amount of bullshit spouted about it. Most by some twat who has written a book called (I jest not) “Chavs: The Demonisation of the Working Class”. What a fucking commie piece of shit. Talk about twisting facts to suit theories. There’s a vast amount of working class people who are not “chav” in the slightest. No doubt this cunt is some 40-something tit who thinks he “understands the youth”. His book title makes about as much sense as “Mods: The Demonisation of the Working Class” would have done in 1961!

Of course the real cause of the rioting was the fact that there’s an underclass of illiterate savages who expect something for nothing and think society owes them a living. They have been taught by red teachers who are always going on about how tough the poor had it and how “if you’d lived back then you would have been a factory slave” (“but never mind, our kind, er, I mean ‘the system’ shut down all the factories in the 80’s!”). They have been bought up with a false sense of entitlement, reminders to “look out for number one” and to believe they are special snowflakes whose feelings are the most important thing in the world. They have had it endlessly drummed into them that they have “no chance” because they are at the bottom of society – especially because of the high student loans!

The fact is university is accessible to just about everybody. The fact is in today’s Britain with literacy and effort anybody can get into Oxbridge for nothing, providing they pass the exams for a scholarship. But the underscum aren’t satisfied with this. They want success and riches without the effort. Some people blame “instant fame” shows like X factor, but I don’t buy it. Even shows like that feature crap singers being laughed at, rejections and endless shots of the people who show promise spending hours working hard at the “boot camp” improving their skills. Even the winners of these “instant fame” shows have spent many weeks in intense training before they get that record deal. The real cause of the expectation of success without the effort goes back to the “you are special” attitude that’s constantly spouted at school and home. Teachers really need to be told to put a dose of reality into their lessons – but of course the cowardly red NUT holds sway over Britain’s schools, this is the organisation that branded “3 R’s” education as “elitist”, remember? How out of touch can you get?

The solution is of course to educate children from birth on their civic responsibilities, how they “owe” society rather than society “owing” them. Of course that harks back to “coughs and sneezes spread diseases”-type public information films of the 1930’s, and so of course any attempt to implement policies like that will be shot down by a parade of red vermin making “hilarious” satirical videos in RP accents.

And yet what solutions have the reds got? Scratch the surface of any one of thier policies and you have the foundation for the eradication of national borders (and with them seperate cultures and languages) and the “getting rid of” “outdated” ideas. At least the Nazis are open about book burning.

Oh while we’re here I ♥ Mercator Projection

Ye’d leave the boy here, in this den ‘o thieves?

2006: A week before going to uni, I watched the first part of a 2-part show about the notorious pirate, Blackbeard. I didn’t have a telly for the first few months there so didn’t see the second part.

2008 (or so) : My best friend at uni gave me this:


2 copies of it, actually.

2011: Time to watch the bloody thing!

Also today I got this:


2 discs for 3 episodes!

When it was originally broadcast I only saw the last episode, but have heard good things about the rest of the series!

Also Slutwalk was today but I forgot! 🙁 and after saying that “all true patriotic Britons” should go too. Oh well I’ll probably renounce my citizenship one day so I don’t suppose I really count. (Why yes it was the “Dangerous Pictures Act” and “Dangerous Cartoons Act”s that broke the camel’s back. I don’t suppose they’ll ever be repealed either… in fact, can you see any current/near future party with a ghost of a chance of getting elected repealing any law? The cunts are all in it together, one back-slapping nest of vipers, drunk on power.)

What went wrong?





I think I know what did go wrong, actually. Dirty contaminants:



When are we going to get a party that promises to immediately repeal the obscene publications act, video nasties act,  dangerous pictures act etc, and give all victims of these laws a free pardon and £10,000 compensation?

This follows on the heels of a report that says the reason Britain has the most teenage pregnancies in Europe is because Britain is the “most sexualised” society in Europe… which it just fucking isn’t. I wonder how well such a report would have been received in the days of analogue satellite TV, when we could see just how “sexualised” other societies with much lower teenage pregnancy rates actually were?



Also I read a ridiculous news story about Justin Bieber’s crew refusing to go on tour in Japan “because of radiation”. They were going to tour in Tokyo and Kyoto. Fucking ill-brained savages.

But even worse than that was a commenter saying “you’re all idiots, radiation can cause serious health damage and lasts billions of years, if you’re so brave why don’t you offer to work in Japan with him?”